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[–] astroskag 2 points -1 points (+1|-2) ago 

Gender issues aren't a competition. There are advantages to being male, and there are disadvantages. And it's the same for women. But to use your own disadvantages as an excuse to disregard the disadvantages of someone else makes you part of the problem.

That works both ways. I'm not saying that all feminists, especially Tumblr-brand feminists, extend men that courtesy, but that's exactly what makes them toxic. To say "I don't care about the problems other people have, because I have problems, too" is to become just like them.

You rightfully feel excluded, but there are other areas where you've had a easier time of things than your female counterpart. In a perfect world, she'd show some empathy at your being left out (and ideally try to make it better - telling the department head "I don't feel right about going without LDV" would go a long way), and you'd sympathize with the times her gender has been a disadvantage.

But two wrongs don't make a right. Even if she's callous about it, that doesn't make it alright to use that as a reason to dismiss everyone's struggles everywhere.