so my favorite cartoon of the 90's, rocko's modern life, got a reboot picked up by [sigh] netflix. naturally, i torrented it because netflix will never get a single shekel from me. now don't get me wrong: for the most part, the reboot is absolutely awesome. the writers, animators, and voice actors didn't skip a beat in the quality of the since cancelled show.
but then the predictable happened. in typical netflix fashion, they undoubtedly funded the special on one condition. hey, could you maybe fag the show up a little for us? for those who are not familiar with the show, there's a character called mr. bighead. his character is relatable to a lot of dads that we grew up with. staunchly conservative, short-tempered, and someone who has been working the corporate grind for far too long. and like many father and son relationships, the son has different goals and passions in life that clash with the ideals of what his father wants him to do (basically the son wants to be a cartoonist and the dad wants him to get a regular office job like he did). it's a story as old as time. his son's "rebellious" nature spawns the catch phrase repeated in several episodes, "I HAAAAVE NOOO SON!"
in the 90's show, the point was that the son ends up succeeding in pursuing his dream and creates a massively successful show called the fatheads. despite this, mr. bighead still resents his son out of not only his own stubbornness to accept that he was wrong about what he thought was best for him, but also out of petty jealousy that he actually became even more successful and more fulfilled with his life by taking major risks that his father never had the stones to go for and instead surrendered to a dull and soul crushing job within a cubicle. moral of the story: parents can make mistakes too, but family should always come before pride. and any attempt by his son to reconcile their relationship is reciprocated with a cold and shrewd, "I HAAAAVE NOOO SON!"
fast forward to 2019 where netflix completely loses the fucking plot to this timeline. it is the current year and we need to sprinkle on some (((diversity))) for these classic characters! now the new "twist" is that his son is a fucking trannie. for no reason whatso-fucking-ever. but of course it doesn't stop there. mr. bighead, being the EVIL, transphobic piece of shit that he is, rejects his son's noble, honorable, and brave decision to be a dick-splitting science experiment for the rest of his life! that's when he delivers the new bastardized punchline, "I HAAAAAVE NOOO DAUGHTER!" because that makes sense. my son's a mutilated faggot now, but i'll be goddamned if i don't respect her pronouns!
and now we have the upcoming reboot of invader zim to look forward to. i wonder what kind of sjw twist they'll ruin that show with. gee, lemme guess. dib's sister is a dyke now? there's a shocker...
tl;dr the new rocko's modern life reboot is actually really fucking good, with the exception of netflix turning one of the characters into a trannie for diversity points.
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[–] Humansized ago
Wtb rockos retro life. Modern has gone too far.