[–] Apexbreed 1 points 53 points (+54|-1) ago 

My mom was a complete cunt to my sister and I growing up. She cucked my dad repeatedly until she divorced him. She was a garbage human being. And in response, I stopped trying to please her and stopped trying to be a good son. She was never a good mother, so why should I have to be a good son? As soon as I stopped kissing her ass, she stopped being a cunt. Funny how that works. People like her (and your dad, apparently) take advantage of people who treat them well. It's just in their nature. I wouldn't lift a finger for him again. He'll manage without you.

Everyone calling you out and saying you should still be his servant because he's your dad, is a pushover and the type of person that gets used and played. Fuck that. Live for yourself, and help people who deserve your time.

[–] HillBoulder 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

I agree. If no effort to change at all is being made by someone that miserable then give it up and let them die alone and miserable. They can figure it out in their next life.

[–] godamn 1 points -1 points (+0|-1) ago 

What doth life?

[–] Unreasonable 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a bitch to deal with in parents.

Go no contact. Cut them from your life like a cancer.

[–] chirogonemd 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I have had to care for older folks in my family - albeit not as mean spirited. I've found it is nearly universal that the more someone comes to depend on you, the more they tend to resent you, and the greater the degree to which you offer yourself freely out of sheer kindness, the more bitterly these people expect it. It creates a nasty swamp of things. It hurts because it flies right in the face of what we think about "the good", or what good people ought to be like, or think like.

It also makes things worse by creating expectations. Despite resenting your for it, these people will still expect your help, and if you've been doing it long enough, they'll become extremely bitter to you if you stop. The real bitch of it, is they will treat better the people in your life and theirs who never even lifted a finger to help.

It seems that at no matter what stage of life, people respect you to the extent you respect yourself. You may feel a sense of duty to your ancestors (or to those who sacrificed a lot for you) to hand yourself over freely, but there is a definite line that you can cross. I agree that the duty you feel does exist. But it can't come at the loss of your self-respect. The people you are helping need to experience the pressure to do for themselves, whatever it is they are capable of, for as long as they are capable of it.

If you start permitting someone to do nothing for themselves (at least doing for them something they could do themselves), they'll gladly stop doing it and expect you to do it, at the same time losing respect for you for not having the respect for yourself to tell them straight.

It's kind of like this odd reversal of the child-parent relationship. Children resent their parents for being helicopters, and for not disciplining them and setting strong boundaries. It's the same thing here. A person wants to "feel" the boundaries of your personhood and your self-respect, and if you make it clear you allow those lines to be crossed, you lose respect - even if you are extremely kind and helpful.

[–] Apexbreed 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Well said, friend. Saved.

[–] ottermom56 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

it works that way sometimes, other times people remain awful

[–] shiftyposter 4 points 39 points (+43|-4) ago 

You are a good person for doing what needs to be done for him despite his sunny disposition.

[–] vivalad 2 points 35 points (+37|-2) ago 

he's angry that he is no longer capable of doing things for himself and must rely on you. you know this. stay strong.

my dad was like this with my sister. he was a piss and vinegar guy as long as i knew him, and she took the brunt of his shit in the last years because she was the one who lived closest.

[–] PotatoFarm 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

That's what I though, perhaps, even worse. He despises to be so helpless and wants to remove OP's from his side as he thinks he is an hindrance in his life.

Naturally, I have no fucking idea of what is the real case, only OP knows. Was he a good father? Then that's probably the case. Wasn't he? Then, well, you get the idea.

[–] Gopherurself 1 points -1 points (+0|-1) ago  (edited ago)

Give him a massive dose of heroine in his sleep call him a junkie fuck all the boomers I broke my dad's nose the other night he punched me, tried to hit me with a hard piece of wood I beat him with a paddle. Kill him, he wants to die.. they are asking for death after a certain age..

[–] drstrangegov 2 points 27 points (+29|-2) ago 

Fuck.......him. age is no excuse to be a dick, especially for someone who is dependent upon you. Unless you are soaking him for resources. In which case he probably resents it. And you should go make your own way in life.

[–] doesntgetsarcasm 3 points 9 points (+12|-3) ago 

What if shes fuckin a black guy?

[–] drstrangegov 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I don't know, man. All this crazy just makes me tired.

[–] Gopherurself 1 points -1 points (+0|-1) ago  (edited ago)

Exactly I would kill my own fuckin dad right now I don't give a fuck! It's like they get a certain age and are asking someone to kill them.

[–] Merlynn 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

Don't go to help him tomorrow. When he calls to ask where you are,tell him his daughter drove into a ditch and died. When he realizes how fucked he is without you,accept his apology only if he explains why he's such a pissy little bitch faggot.

[–] Halstan 3 points 10 points (+13|-3) ago 

Fuck. I'm really sorry

[–] Calculations 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

Why? Tell him to fuck off then let his loser ass rot in his own self created misery. All your doing is allowing him some sense of self worth by letting him control and manipulate your emotions.

Telling the people who are supposed to love you to eat sand is hard but better for you and your soul in every way.

[–] MooseBear 2 points 7 points (+9|-2) ago 

Part of me, at this point, says he see’s what’s coming and wants to spare you. In reality, he, at his core, resents the fact that he has to be taken care of. He doesn’t see you for who you really are. He sees you as a reminder that he’s no longer free or able to make a living by his own two hands. You’re doing God’s work. It’s hard, but the right thing to do. I’ll pray that you continue the strength to carry on until it’s over. We’re born into this world blind, screaming, and shitting our pants, we go out the same.

load more comments ▼ (64 remaining)