[–] Thisismyvoatusername 0 points 46 points (+46|-0) ago 

This is so blindingly obvious that I have never understood people who go on to long term relationships with someone who was cheating on their last. Everyone seems to think they are different so it won’t happen to them. But it doesn’t matter whether they are different or not. It matters whether they are messing around with a cheater. Because the cheater is the same.

[–] Maximum50 0 points 22 points (+22|-0) ago 

Basically, when women have sex it messes their brains into believing they are bonded with that person and they do all kinds of irrational things. I have never heard of men wanting to marry women that cheat with them but maybe, some people are just fucked in the head.

[–] Thisismyvoatusername 0 points 25 points (+25|-0) ago 

It does go both ways. I’ve personally known both men and women who made the mistake. Dumbasses.

[–] Caesarkid1 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

People want to fuck around and not feel like whores so they enter into relationships that neither really intend to take to the grave they just want fucky fucky.

[–] SayTan 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I never wanted to marry them, but they fantasized about getting divorced and marrying me, just because I was new/different and fucking them. Some separated, some married. All too much hassle. Haven't tagged another married going 15 years now. I was YDFofC....

[–] TheBookWasBetter 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

But... they are bonded... they have swapped fluids and that absolutely changes physical chemistry.

[–] chirogonemd 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago  (edited ago)

It's obvious from an outsider's perspective. That applies to so many situations. The reality seems obvious unless you are the one in it and caught up in the lust. Regardless of what anyone says with respect to morals, there isn't a person out there who doesn't get excited when someone who is ostensibly "taken" gives them attention. It's a thrill because it appeals directly to that primal competitive object in us. It's ego masturbation.

We've all been there at one time or another. We'd be dishonest to say that the taboo of it doesn't entice us now again. It's just that the better of us - and the learned of us - know it's a huge case of "the grass isn't always greener". There is a reason civilization has evolved certain morals, and it's not to please God, despite the fact that is where the morals were encoded as doctrine on a surface level. It's because to not act in the way the moral describes actually creates more chaos, and hurts you too. We are enticed by poison.

I've learned this lesson personally once. You get pulled in by the "he's such an asshole and I deserve better" shenanigans. It's always horseshit. No woman leaves a man who is providing well for her because he "isn't there for her emotionally". When I start hearing statements like that, I run. It's always a fucking grenade, and if for whatever reason you need to be told this: NEVER EVER approach anything like this at the place where you work. It can destroy your work environment quickly, and whatever mini-culture exists there between yourself and another group of co-workers. Don't have sex where they write your checks.

Once bitten twice shy. I've seen friends learn this lesson as well. It seems many people require learning it once. But if you can benefit from the truth of somebody else, try. This particular truth never fails. Ever.

[–] The_Raven 1 points 4 points (+5|-1) ago 

No woman leaves a man who is providing well for her because he "isn't there for her emotionally"

Wrong. My cousin just did this. Her husband (high school sweetheart) has a great job and provided very well, but wouldn't support her when she would tell her pre-teen and teenage daughters they couldn't do something and would let the girls do whatever they wanted, which made my cousin the evil parent every time. He also wasn't affectionate with my cousin. Well, she had enough and filed for divorce. Now, she's gone from living in a beautiful Victorian home on 5 acres to a tiny apartment, and her daughters chose to live with their father because he's the nice parent who lets them do whatever they want.

Also, my cousin has already found a nice guy with a good job and she hasn't even been divorced for 6 months.

[–] yesididit 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Unless they find salvation with Christ, and live a sanctified life. Just as important, is creating the environment to enable that (homestead), and the ancillary community that upholds those values.

[–] StanTheTRex 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

It's all ego and delusion. I'm so amazing she left her man for me. I gave her the good dick that other guy didn't. She said she faked it with him but it's real with me. Fuck that loser.

[–] brewpot 0 points 22 points (+22|-0) ago 

Threesome. No thanks. If I wanted to disappoint two people at the same time I'd have dinner with my parents

[–] Question_Sleep 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

God damn, bro.

[–] brewpot 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

It's just a joke bro

[–] LivingRedInBlue 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

F

[–] ArtistiqueJewelry 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

This is true! This is the advice I give to friends who want to leave their current wife or husband and think they are infatuated with someone.

Everybody's always looking for greener grass, but each person has their own battles along with their strengths.

Generally just trading one set for another.

The true depth comes from wading through it all and being committed. Too much chaos the other way, but I guess some thrive on the chaos.

[–] edistojim 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

"Yeah, but this time is different"

No, no its not. Wait and see.

[–] OriginalJoker 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

How 'bout the other grand self-delusion? (S)he's going to change once we get married!

Uhh, no. (S)he's putting on a good face while you're dating. (S)he's going to double down once on her/his bad ways once you get married.

[–] matthew-- 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Men think women won't change, but they do. And women expect men to change, but they don't.

[–] edistojim 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Yep, you can pretty much bet that any bad habit will be multiplied by a factor of 10 once married. Be ready.

[–] ArtistiqueJewelry 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Maybe they are always looking for the same person, then finding themselves disappointed.

[–] riffwraff 1 points 0 points (+1|-1) ago  (edited ago)

They're looking for a permanent, workable relationship with the person they let pop their tuna tin with everyone who goes into it afterwards. They never realize they were fucked for life after they dumped can opener #1 until they're hags.

Statistics on divorce in virgin marriages vs marriages after multiple partners back this up, too.

[–] ironnickel 2 points 8 points (+10|-2) ago 

So fuck her but don't date her. Not exactly rocket science.

[–] dunklederf 0 points 31 points (+31|-0) ago 

there's logic in what you say, but at the same time, that's also degenerate.

[–] ironnickel 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Less so degenerate moreso maladaptive coping strategy.

[–] yesididit 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Ephesians 5:5 KJV "For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God". I can justify and rationalize the sins in the flesh all I want. I could also see how any time spent with a whore (any woman who has sex outside of marriage is a whore) degenerates me, and in turn, I am not able to face the person that could be my wife, and instead I face sin. Slippery slope indeed.

[–] riffwraff 5 points -2 points (+3|-5) ago  (edited ago)

Women are gonna be whores whether you fuck around or adhere to some irreligious asceticism. There is no reason at all to not have one night stands, because I guarantee that slut you think you might have a future with after the first date isn't thinking about anything other than having her sardine sinkhole filled. I'm not saying you won't form a relationship eventually or a relationship you already have is bad. I'm just saying to you amd everyone out there, do not expect great things from women.

[–] Hey_Sunshine 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Can't change a hoe into a housewife

[–] TauCeti 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Not even if you add six letters?

Ok, bad joke.

[–] hungir_strike 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

It's a pattern of behavior that in my opinion NEVER changes. It's typically an issue of low self esteem with the cheater, but there are other factors which I don't fully understand because that's never been behavior I engage in.

[–] tastywhitemeat 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

And if they cheat on you once, they will cheat on you again.

[–] IGiveZeroFucks 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago  (edited ago)

YES, cheaters always cheat again. I forgave a cheating GF once and she just did it again a year later. The first time was just a learning experience for her so she got better at covering her tracks the second time. If you ever catch your partner cheating just walk away. Don't let your judgment be clouded by fond memories of the good times together. That person is dead and may have never existed to begin with.

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