Posted by: [deleted]
Posting time: 2.2 years ago on 9/17/2018 11:16:14 PM
Last edit time: never edited.
Archived on: 12/17/2018 10:00:00 AM
Views: 81
SCP: 4
5 upvotes, 1 downvotes (83% upvoted it)
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Archived Account Deleted By User (whatever)
submitted 2.2 years ago by [deleted]
I don't know if people still follow this story. I'm the one who originally talked about having a dead wife. I'm sure i could have done a better job organizing the posts so they are more linear, and organized. What I have noticed since my wife's passing is for the most part astounding.
I used to live in another state, but moved back with my parents until i can get re adjusted. This will be temporary
The autopsy results came back. Inconclusive cause of death.
I seem to get angry at everything. I know people mean well, but i just want them to leave me alone. On the other hand, activities such as outdoor hiking do prove to be helpful. It is only when i have a moment to think that all the trauma comes back to my brain. At this point, sleeping has become close to impossible, and most if not all my habits have to be relearned, as they were shared between me and my wife. Needless to say, a long road ahead of me. I have been using alcohol to try and take the edge off, and quickly stopped doing that once I realized it only amplifies the misery after a few days.
Not sure why, but women have been checking me out in the most random of place. I don't know if its the leftover confidence of having been married, or me stopping any pretense of giving a shit. I haven't pursued this avenue, and won't for a few years, but i find the observation interesting.
My mother has accused me of everything from killing for insurance money, to being a thieving scum bag. She has also accused me of not "looking" sad enough, as if somehow i should be miserable for ever. Me and my mother in law try to cope by doing activities together. It's not the best, and there's a modicum of friction due to us being in different age groups, and having different interests. However, for the most part it works. However, in my mother's eyes, I should wallow in self pity, take drugs, and stay inside. This is becoming a very quickly toxic relationship, which i am seeing to remove myself from. There is only so much chastizing i can take.
I am having a really hard time choosing between joining the workforce and working for a while to clear my mind, or going back to college and finishing a degree instead. I don't have one yet, but a lot of jobs right now don't seem to require one anyways. Both ways, it's achievable, it's just hard to decide or care honestly. I feel like college will just be more rehashed bullshit, and i don't personally feel like dealing with it. On the other hand, corporate environments have their own problems.
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[–] clamhurt_legbeard 0 points 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) 2.2 years ago (edited 2.2 years ago)
Colleges are a waste of money. I'd say skip it. Do a trade school, if you're inclined to take classes.
Also, I'd say never talk to your evil mother again.
Good job ditching the alcohol before it became a problem.
Hopefully you ditched the prescription, too.
Good luck.
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[–] clamhurt_legbeard ago (edited ago)
Colleges are a waste of money. I'd say skip it. Do a trade school, if you're inclined to take classes.
Also, I'd say never talk to your evil mother again.
Good job ditching the alcohol before it became a problem.
Hopefully you ditched the prescription, too.
Good luck.