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[–] theoldones 3 points 107 points (+110|-3) ago 

go for full custody, and don't let them get raised by a cheater and a currynigger.

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[–] SquarebobSpongebutt 0 points 21 points (+21|-0) ago 

I agree, but it will be fucking hard as hell. Unless she is unfit in some way other than being a lying cheater the courts will probably give her primary custody. A man getting full custody is hard as fuck.

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[–] cyclops1771 0 points 37 points (+37|-0) ago 

But, it can be done.

Go the "she's always at the bar " route and hammer her in court for being a drunk - custody does not go to drug users or drunks.

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[–] HomerChimpson 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Man with full custody here. NO EXCUSES. Do whatever you have to do, and never relent.

Courts are much better these days then they used to be. You fail to account for the disgraceful nature of so many women these days. Courts have seen enough shitty mothers to know they exist.

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[–] AdolfGutenbergstein 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

You'll get 50/50 that's the norm

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[–] 1HepCat 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago  (edited ago)

There are lawyers that specialize in representing men in divorce cases. See what you can find and ask them about your options and likely outcomes. If you don't lawyer up and fight for custody, you risk becoming a child-support ATM--even if she's clearly at fault.

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[–] RKGIV 2 points 17 points (+19|-2) ago  (edited ago)

She got caught.

She was fucking someone for a whole month and it (supposedly) has stopped only because she was caught.

She does not love OP in a true sense and a full grown women does not change. If you stay with her you're sure to be having sex with a women who's twat is littered with the DNA of other men.

How old are you kids? If they are at least double digits I would take @theoldones Advice.

.....

PS cheaters do no stop cheating. The only thing that will change such remarkably selfish behavior is a dramatic life changing event or an incredible spiritual experience.

I cheated on every gf I ever had, and always got caught. No matter how emotional and terrible it made things, no matter what I told myself I'd change, I always cheated again. .....I had an out of body experience that made me realize I had no idea what love was and that I was a despicable person for cheating. It changed me.....ironically I've never had a true GF since, probably because I expect the same sort of respect in return that I am now prepared to give, but I see that most women will not provide me with what the genuine love I am capable of offering.

She'll cheat again.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] fuckmyreddit 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

She might cheat again, but it sounds like she might have just had a crazy midlife crisis. She was looking for attention and excitement.

What I meant to say above was DO NOT go to a female marriage counselor. Try to find a male. He might take your side. I don't know this chick's background but the thought of losing her kids AND HER SECURITY might be enough to force her back on track.

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[–] NiggerJusticeWarrior 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

"Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!"

Thanks for changing.

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[–] undertheshills [S] 1 points 8 points (+9|-1) ago 

50/50 is all I can get in my area, and Im going to fuck that piece of shit up if he moves into my children's life.

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[–] RevDrStrangelove 0 points 23 points (+23|-0) ago 

He's not the problem, she is. If you attack him you go to jail and lose everything.

He is only doing 'what men do'. You could kill him but she can go out to a bar and find 10 guys to replace him. Leave him alone. He's not the one betraying you. She is.

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[–] WORF_MOTORBOATS_TROI 2 points 10 points (+12|-2) ago 

You area literally a cuck and your justification for staying married to the woman that cucked you is that you want your children to spend 100% of their week being raised by the woman who cucked you because you are afraid moving out will mean the 50% of their week that your children spend with the woman who cucked you will also be spent with the man that she cucked you with.

Chances are slim that they would stay together all the way through divorce proceedings and shit if they've only been together 1-3 months. Your kids would hate that guy anyway.

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[–] Slayfire122 1 points 1 points (+2|-1) ago 

50/50 is all I can get in my area

Then "forgive her" and move to another place "for a fresh start." Make sure the place you move to has better laws for male custody. Rent, don't buy. Wait for her to cheat again, then collect evidence. Secretly talk to the best divorce lawyer you can afford. Seriously, don't skimp on the lawyer, not even a little.

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[–] Whoremaster2000 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Look mate, the likley hood that her thing with this guy would last and all that shit it's highly unlikley, he likes the pussy and blowjobs right now but will he raise her / your kids, what are the odds if you think about it.

He who laughs last gets the last laugh, let her run off to him, fuck her as bad as you can in Court. Get your shit together, get another woman just to piss her off, move on like. In a couple of months her boy will be sick and tied of her and the bullshit, you can sit back in your new found glory and say fuck you bitch, the grass in not always greener on the other side. Keep your shit together be the best fucking you, you can for you and the kids and fucking show her my friend.

Fuck this looser, I'd tell him to watch his fucking back, it will happen, keep him on his toes. As much as you want to beat his fucking arse, there are better ways to deal with this, don't let your EGO fuck you up.

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[–] birds_sing 0 points 51 points (+51|-0) ago 

She says she loves you. She says she wants to be with you and wants to make it work.

Tell her that she screwed up. This is her fault, and she's the one moving out for a while. You'll look after the kids while you decide the next step. You're mad, she didn't just cheat on you, but instead cheated on the whole family. She's to have minimal contact with you and the kids for a while, while you figure out what's going to happen with your marriage and family.

Next, talk to a lawyer. Tell them the truth, but also ask them to use the fact THAT YOU HAVE SOLE CUSTODY RIGHT NOW AND YOU ARE THE PRIMARY CAREGIVER OF THE KIDS since she decided to destroy your marriage/family.

Do everything you can to get sole custody.

BUT NO MATTER WHAT, TALK TO A LAWYER AND KEEP ALL OPTIONS OPEN!!! Even if you know what path you're going to take, things outside of your control could make you change your mind. Be prepared to change your mind and take a different path. Prepare for all possible outcomes, and that involves talking to a lawyer, but also BEING THE ONE IN CONTROL. Do not give her any control. House, kids, anything and everything stays in your control.

I know you're depressed. You want to just put your head down and wait for this all to end. But you need to stay in control of everything.

Good luck.

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[–] VoaterRick 0 points 18 points (+18|-0) ago 

@undertheshills this is the best advice so far. Get it in writing or on the record that she admits she made a mistake and agrees it is best you have full custody of the family and home while she reflects on her infidelity and betrayal to the family. Then talk with a lawyer and lay it out.

If you if you cede ground you'll never get it back. If you conquer it, you can always be charitable later. Not one person, especially an adulterous woman, will be charitable to you if you cede ground.

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[–] undertheshills [S] 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Cant get full custody, im just glad I live in a place where they grant 50/50 if the dad wants it. Her dad bought us the house so Im not going to take it, I made it so if she sells it i get 40 grand which is what ill need to fight her in court, if she turns into a crack whore. She cant sell, lease, or get a loan without my approval. I cant put my head down, i have another week and a half before my place is ready, and the friends and family that I have love me to death but are obnoxious plus im embarrassed as fuck by all this. I know I didnt do anything wrong but I still have nigger dick all over my face.

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[–] birds_sing 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

Either way the one thing you NEED to remember is to STAY IN CONTROL OF EVERYTHING.

Women need to be in control. If you look at her actions, you'll see that she's trying to control you. She says she loves you, but at the same time she says that the other guy loves her and wants to be with her. - This is her controlling you. - Either you love her and want to be with her, or someone else will. She's making it clear that it doesn't matter what you decide, she gets love and a relationship no matter what. You either keep her, but at the same time let her get away with whatever she wants, or you get nothing.

Win, win for her. And lose everything, or lose almost everything for you.

Yes she'll say it won't happen again. But she's already blown your trust in the worst possible way. So now, it's like being late. It doesn't matter if you're 5 minutes or 5 hours late, either way you're late. She cheated on you and got caught. It doesn't matter if she does it a hundred more times, everyone already knows she's a cheater. There's nothing to lose.

DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO KEEP CONTROL OF EVERYTHING. Don't just sit around feeling sorry for yourself, GET MAD. When you're on your deathbed looking back at your life, you will remember this as the most important fight of your life. SO FIGHT.

GET MAD, AND FIGHT!! This will truly be the most important fight of your life.

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[–] BoraxTheFungarian 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Dude... "She said she'd fully submit to me if I stick with, full tracking, full friend banning power, let me get even whatever I want." So, full tracking, she needs to go to Christian counselling for adultery and alcoholism. Also she stays at a hotel or condo until her counselling is done. Probably like a week to a month? It might be a little expensive to do this and difficult for you to pull off taking care of the kids with family members taking turns caring for them but it will show you having sole custody for a time which takes control away from her and establishes your authority and responsibility toward the family. Mostly I'm really sorry man. I can tell you love your kids, and your heart is broken. Keep your spirits up and keep doing the right thing.

edit: If you could establish her being an alocholic, that would be helpful. She's going to vars after work? And presumably driving herself home, right? She's not going to stop boozing. Hire a PI and record that shit.

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[–] Redditsdead 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Never leave your home. You'll be giving it to her if you do.

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[–] Blue333 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

You didn't do anything wrong...easy for me to say but no reason to feel shame. Your wife should feel shame. My advice? For what it's worth...keep your cool...don't do anything stupid like putting it all out there or trying to get revenge...that'll come back to bite you in the ass. Figure out what you want in the end. The trust in your marriage...well, it's been eroded and I don't really know if you can get that back again, ever. Some people might manage but it's never the same...you'll probably always be suspicious and who wants to live like that? And do you really want to stay with someone who could treat you this way?
Anyway, I'd say, depending on the state you live in, that'll also factor into whether there's any hope of getting full custody...liberal states hardly ever lean in a man's favor during divorce...I've seen it too often where the man gets screwed. Try to keep your head together, get the best lawyer you can afford, and document everything. Good luck.

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[–] Glory_Beckons 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

This is your best bet, @undertheshills.

If you take her back, she will never respect you or see you as a man again. Nor will anyone else that finds out. It will only be a matter of time before she does it again, and next time she'll be indignant and self-righteous about it.

You're still attached to the memory of what you had. But she destroyed that, and there's no putting it back together again. Cheaters are incorrigible narcissists. A normal person would consider what she was doing to you and to her children, and reel back in disgust at the thought of it. It either didn't occur to her or she didn't care. There's no fixing that. All that is left is protecting your children from her malign influence.

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[–] fuckmyreddit 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

@birds_sing That is EXCELLENT advice. It might be the thing that turns wifey around and puts OP in a position of power.

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[–] VulgarChristian 2 points 37 points (+39|-2) ago 

Save your self respect and GTFO

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[–] cyks 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Change the locks, then GTFO lol

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[–] slwsnowman40 1 points 30 points (+31|-1) ago 

she tells me he loves her and wants to be with her but she wants to be with me, and it was a mistake.

He loves her because he can fuck her and not worry about much else. She wants to be with you for the security you provide.

  1. STD test.
  2. Kick that cheating bitch out and blast her lying ass on Fakebook if you have it.
  3. You have to win custody of the kids or they will be damaged adults because of her and pajeet.

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[–] cyclops1771 0 points 23 points (+23|-0) ago 

2 and 3 are mututally exclusive. You want custody, you don't go on blast on social media.

You have to pro you are the adult.

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[–] midnightblue1335 1 points 12 points (+13|-1) ago 

This. Only faggots and women put their personal lives on "blast" on social media sites. Don't be a faggot or a woman.

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[–] Reverse-Flash 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago  (edited ago)

"go on blast on social media" ha ha ha. Hey maybe he can get a sign that hangs around his neck and print one of his "angry-man" tweets on it, then go picket her workplace. Making sure to get lots of selfies for facebook so everyone can see how rational and cool he is.

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[–] EVERYBODYPANIC 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Actually, no. The law says that regardless of DNA, a married man is father to all kids that slid out during the marriage.

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[–] slwsnowman40 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

You have to pro you are the adult.

I'm going to assume you mean prove and while I agree, it has more to do with the judge you get and if he's going to give her a pussypass and let her games slide.

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[–] kneo24 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

It should be added that she's also a DRUNK. Clearly she visits the bar a lot. The public name and shame game needs to be brought back for roasties.

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[–] slwsnowman40 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Isn't her being a drunk implied by the story?

I agree 100% on the name and shame.

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[–] goytoynamedtroy 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

This.

The one thing women fear is being outed and shamed and having all personal support taken away. FUCK HER RAW ON THIS.

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[–] undertheshills [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

I made her get one already she passed, Its her home her dad got it for her, I have my own shit separately, and ive never had a kikebook. I cant get custody best ill get in my area is 50/50 and I have to wait until she moves a piece of shit in to file an emergency injunction which I will do.

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[–] goddamnthisplace 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Depending on the state, you've been married long enough that she may have to either buy you out of the house or sell it for marital assets. Debt even gets divided up in court.

PS: Divorce her. She'll continue this lifestyle. I hate Eddit, but look at /r/adultery - they work on hiding it, share tips, go quiet when caught and pick up later. Dump the bitch.

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[–] slwsnowman40 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Okay, 50/50 is fine, but who is primary residence? Surely you can get that, right? I don't know anyone that has had true 50/50 custody.

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[–] Mumbleberry 1 points 22 points (+23|-1) ago 

Get custody, dump the whore and kill the pajeet.

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[–] RustyEquipment 3 points -1 points (+2|-3) ago 

Dump the whore and something something. You trailed off there. Stop mumbling when you talk!

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[–] Reddit_traitor 1 points -1 points (+0|-1) ago 

Does he mumble because he has cock in his mouth all the time?

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[–] Newtonsnephew 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

You have kids with this woman so do what you have to for them. Figure out what is best for them and go from there.

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[–] Nalbarcam 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I concur. This is a business agreement, and the potential collateral damage is a seriously fucked up scenario for the next 10+ years in specific ragard to the kids.

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[–] Hugh_G 1 points 13 points (+14|-1) ago 

Your ex wife is tainted. Move on, brother.

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[–] con77 1 points 13 points (+14|-1) ago 

kick that cunt to the curb. Tell the nigger if it looks cross eyed at your kids they'll never find its body.

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