Ellen is one of those great fugly hawt women who you always secretly suspected loved the dick. They run around behind their Front Line Defense of Diesel Dykes and SJW Cheerleaders, but in their private life, every few weeks they are importing the D.
Now that she has admitted her proclivity for D, I want to love her. And I want her to love me. I want us to be the best human partners we can be, and move on into the next chapter of child rearing and parenting. I hope one of her interns reads Voat.
How I see it is we are just so deeply in love because everything is so perfect. Definitely we do a lot of dancing and maybe some heart to hearts on the couch - but in our private time it is all about the cat and mouse game of me trying to do some Deep-Dicking. Sometimes we will fight, I mean full on Jackie Chan launching off the couches. One day under the audience chairs everyone will get a Glock like if Oprah filmed in Compton.
I'm not gonna lie, sometimes Ellen is gonna beat me. But I love a woman who can take a punch.
I want to enable Ellen Degeneres, because she has a beautiful mind, a beautiful spirit. She is an amazing person, and I honestly believe she has a genetic predisposition to being more of an X than an XY, but she got guts instead of nuts.
I don't care. She's pretty, I'd hang out and see how we could best satisfy eachother's needs. I mean, no pegging, [or very little, I aint proud, she's rich after all].
tldr;
As a fairly basic heterosexual Homo-Sapien I am willing to break off a piece of Ellen Degeneres, or let her break off a piece of our love. For science.
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[–] TheBuddha 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
That's beautiful, man.
[–] 11431431? [S] ago
Hey aren't you potential Sugar Mom potential too?
Rawrs.
[–] TheBuddha ago
I have a penis.
[–] vahelper 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I was expecting a deranged rant. Instead the sincerity has me weeping like Maury when Connie says no bang-bang tonight sailor.
[–] 11431905? [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Man that Maury Episode changed my life. It was the whole reason for my book.
[–] Runaway-White-Slave ago
Bitch's ovaries done dried up, you want to waste time fucking a senior citizen woman who's built like a teenage boy.... That's on you, have fun, seek professional help.
[–] 11432015? [S] ago
Me and Ellen could pop out Kim Jong Il level gods like Democrats import illiterates.
I'm not exactly sure who would be the mom, but my butternut squash would end up in her so hard after one of our "come to jesus, what does this relationship really mean" meetings.
A beautiful baby would be born, and then Ellen and I would assign our primary Bodyguard squad to conduct Zersetsung on you.
[–] OhRutherfordBehave ago
OP & Ellen: https://imgoat.com/uploads/2c420d928d/70498.jpg
[–] 11431720? [S] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
She would make that face for the cameras, but when they were off, it would be the same face for a different reason.