So today, even though the weather is getting colder and it was a bit inclement, I went hiking with my parents. We were headed to a place with a precipice, and made decent enough time getting there that we were nice and warm the whole hike... I heard voices as we approached the destination, and even though I was a little perturbed at the break in our solitude, I am a warm-hearted, welcoming fellow, and easily got over the mild 'intrusion'. Two women were talking at the base of the rock outcropping, and I didn't receive an entirely warm 'hello' back as I had issued and the icy glare of the rather attractive blonde woman who seemed my age was a little bizarre... No bother, up to the top! As I began to climb, well ahead of my parents, another older lady was coming down. She said something about not being able to see anything... "Just because it's different doesn't mean it's bad!," I proclaimed. "Well I guess it nice just to come out, blah blah blah," the lady weakly replied with some apologetic drivel. LAME, I thought. And sure enough, it was magnificent at the top! The expansive views that were normally available were shrouded in clouds, and it made for a closed-in, quiet, surreal and much more myopic, introspective aesthetic. My parents arrived at the top, chatting about how gorgeous the scenery was and how steep the outcropping was as we looked directly down at the trees we had been hiking through. Mom remembered the tree at the top and warned me, as she usually does, not to get too close to the edge. I will post pics at the end of the diatribe.
So we finish up at the top, I skirt around some way not meant to be travelled to pass my parents as they slowly go down and lead us again on the loop back to the car. "Do you think they came the same way we did?" "I think they came the other way," conjectures my Dad instinctively hoping that we won't cross paths with the unappreciators again. Well, no luck. It is about a mile down the trail that we come up on the gaggle again, clucking like hens, not at all appreciating the extreme quiet of the day. I would normally pass such an annoying group with gusto, but the brush was rather thick and they were ambling about in a group taking up the entire trail. "Hello again!" I exclaimed... ten feet behind them. "Hi..." The high-cheek boned blonde meekly replied. No speeding up, no attempt to move to the side, just continual clucking and shambling. I gave exasperated, impatient gestures back to my parents who kinda just shrugged... We followed these women for about 300 yards like this to a water crossing, where I expected they might move to the side, but one of the group, probably the aunt, went to cross a bridge and what I assume was the mother daughter duo, went to cross rocks in the creek, removing any option of getting around. The mother slipped and soaked her right foot! I was slowly realizing that justice was being served in the ways I enjoy most :))) So, they're still not letting us pass... I slow down greatly and as my parents get close and these unabashed trailhogs move along, I say, "Let's just take a water break," even though we don't need one. "Alright," say Mom and Dad. As I'm drinking my Mom inquires about the group, I can't recall exactly to what effect, but I reply, "Well, they're liberals..." "You don't know that! How could you know that?" "Well Mom, the one woman is wearing a pussy hat, and no conservative would let a family member wear that in public." "Oh! Yeah, or even own it! They'd burn it before they even got the chance," Mom retorted. My Mom is the greatest :) So we take an extended break, enjoying the scenery and the creek. At one point, a bit down the trail, we pull off so Dad can water the trees. And then continue on again. And sure enough, not even another mile down the trail, we come up on the Pussy-group again. This time the mother and daughter are holding hands... GOOD GRIEF I think to myself. That girl is at least twenty years old. I get holding Mom's hand for a moment during a warm embrace as she tells you something important or something like that, but walking along a trail and holding your mother's hand as an adult? I just want to pass these libtards already. And they are again taking up the entire trail acting clueless to our presence. So I edge up, and edge up until I might as well be one of their hiking party, able to hear everything which was said (so mundane I can remember none of it). Still no response, so I finally loudly ask, "Do you mind if we pass you guys?" They move to the high side of the trail, and I kid you not, as I pass, the mother with this deeply wrinkled demon-scowl goes, "You're going to ruin our hike! We want to be in front..." "Well, we keep catching up to you so..." Doopy doo-doo, I saunter on by the head-witch as I deny her apparently sacred, outdoor hiking Pussy-pass. And it isn't even another 100 yards down the trail that God delivers BIG TIME :))) Two beautiful doe pass no more than 30 yards in front of me across the trail... I pause, then a rather handsome buck trots by with a manner of ease and grace. I flash a thumbs up back at my parents. Then, a group of at least 50 turkeys runs across the path at like 20 yards away, again with ease and not panic, like a herd of bipedal dinosaurs with their necks extended. I am in awe. And then I look back and you can just see the seething rage in the femitards' demeanor. I am chuckling heartily with a shit-eating grin. So glorious. So perfect. This is why I believe in God and His infinite humor. I knew it was all too perfect not to share. Hope you enjoyed.
Edit: Photo
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[–] BoraxTheFungarian [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago (edited ago)
Oh! If Theodore is not actually extremely fit, then I probably pissed him off. Lol. Even though I prod the cattle, it is actually to encourage lifestyle change and not truly fat hate... I don't care, you can tell the FatHate mods that I'm actually just a Fat Shamer. Humans deserve love, even if it is tough love and requires force-feeding them a shit sandwich.