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[–] RoBatten ago 

I had a beard for a long time. After I shaved it off, I showed my now "former" mother-in-law. She looked at me, winced, and said, "I can see why you kept that beard for so long." (Not joking, this really happened.) She was a buffet-busting butter barge, btw . . .

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[–] BoraxTheFungarian ago 

What a bitch. You should have told her she could use a beard more than you. Would be an improvement.