[–] Wuttier 1 points 1 points (+2|-1) ago 

Yeah. Few things; Life is an unfair game. So cheat (within reason). Fuck prayer and take Ayahuasca. Do stuff you've never done before and face fears. About the 'burden on society' part; I can point to entire countries that are a burden for the entire planet. If you steel feel dead inside, buy a rope and end it. Perhaps facing death will wake you up.

[–] mindtrip [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Thanks for the input. Now that you mention it I am seriously considering a look at DMT due to the promising results it's had on depression / ptsd. Mayhap that's something worth taking a shot at before throwing the towel.

I've faced death at my own hand before, something stopped me despite every other part of me screaming to do it. I'm still trying to figure out why or if it's just the remnants of the self preservation wiring.

[–] Wuttier 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Wiring or not, the meaning of life is to experience (imo). Suicide would just mean you've given up on all the other things you could've done, or for another (human or animal alike). Things that could be fun, dangerous, loving or whatever. I hate to be so harsh, but in my experience I've seen plenty of people with talks of depression and/or suicide that are just calls of attention, for someone to tell them what to do (other than societal pressure). No one should tell you what to do and you need to reclaim your freedom prioritize yourself. And the only way to do that is DO something about it. Anything. Go out butt-naked into the night, go out clubbing and be let down a hundred times, go on a survival course and smell the fresh air, adopt a puppy and take care of it with all the love you can give, read books on astronomy and spirituality to get a taste of the wonders life brings, and so on. Either way, I'm not telling you what to do, I only see two extreme options for you, one of which you've already 'faced'.

Just try the other first before face that other option again.

[–] tholinz 1 points 1 points (+2|-1) ago 

Pray. And go talk to a counselor of some kind.

[–] mindtrip [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Thanks for the suggestion. I've done both for quite some time. There's just not much more to say.

[–] ZardoZ2017 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

George Carlin's wisdom will do you good, mate. Buy beer, make some BBQ and binge watch all his shows. Agree about the meat/hunting/killing part of ye rant.

[–] mindtrip [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Thanks for the suggestion. Yeah have seen some of his stuff. But find beyond humour, his views are a little too nhilistic for me to take seriously.

[–] CanIHazPhD 1 points 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

Could you be a little more specific abot the burden to society part? I think that, unless you are missing like 2 arms and a leg, you can still be creative, productive and useful. I just want to rule out the possibility that it's your depression talking.

[–] mindtrip [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Thanks for the input. If I cannot contribute to society. I do not deserve to be part of it. I know plenty of folk are fine to be takers, but I'm not happy with such an existence and it's just another layer of guilt for me.

I have dabbled in creative endeavours, considered writing, but I'm not so sure it fulfills the contentment I yearn for. Plus consistency is extremely difficult for me. I don't want to delve too deeply into it, but I'm slowly losing mental faculties and I'm not sure it's reversible besides some fringe areas of neuroscience I'm exploring but I'm lacking the optimism these days.