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[–] TheKobold 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

On my 25th birthday I decided I was going to get drunker than I ever had. Something about a 1/4 century or some nonsense. So I started out with a bottle of scotch, took it to work with me at the pub, sipped on it every chance I got, the bartenders and waitresses kept bringing me back shots and fucked up drinks. I Left work early with about 1/3 of my bottle gone and a serious start to my drunk going. Got to my buddies and we did some jello shots more drinking and some party games. At some point I passed out on the lawn for a few minutes while trying to make a snow angel in the dead grass, I ended up on the bottom of a couple dog piles, made out with my friends wife a smidgen, and then the call of nature struck at some point and I ran to the bathroom. Right as I started to unleash the flood gates I felt my stomach start to gurgle, here I am having whiskey shits and I need to unload my gut. I frantically looked around for a trash can or other container for my puke but the trash can was over flowing and the shits wouldn't stop, so I did what any sane man would do i tried to reach the tub in front of me. I didn't make it. I did make it as far as between my legs though and loaded up my pants with a nice big puddle of barf. As soon as my orifices settled down I called for help screaming drunkenly at the other not so drunks that I needed pants. My buddy came to the rescue.

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[–] JesusRules 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

wahahahahahaa, that's fucking gross!

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[–] TheKobold ago 

Yes it was. I think I burned those pants afterwords.

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[–] DammitMoonMoon ago 

At least you didn't shit in them at the same time as puking like I did. Totally not cool man.

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[–] TheKobold ago 

Yea I was lucky, I was already on the john. I thought I had it bad until I read yours. At least mine is funny now that I look back at it.