Archived I just woke up. Still drunk. Tell me your worst drunk stories so I feel a little better. (whatever)
submitted ago by bourbonexpert
Posted by: bourbonexpert
Posting time: 3.5 years ago on
Last edit time: never edited.
Archived on: 9/8/2017 10:00:00 AM
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12 upvotes, 0 downvotes (100% upvoted it)
Archived I just woke up. Still drunk. Tell me your worst drunk stories so I feel a little better. (whatever)
submitted ago by bourbonexpert
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[–] RustyEquipment 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago (edited ago)
one shot of jameson on super bowl sunday two years ago.... pancreas fucked up and now i cant/dont drink at all anymore
pancreatitis was unknown to me and i found out after a week of throwing up and i lost about 50 pounds from it
[–] DammitMoonMoon 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I once had a bout of pancreatitis. Mine was the result of a faulty gallbladder, had to have emergency surgery to remove the gallbladder. Liver healed but I have to be easy with the alcohol now. I think the damage from the pancreatitis might be one of the reasons I get sick pretty soon after having maybe 2 drinks.
[–] DammitMoonMoon 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago (edited ago)
went to a friend's house for game night or something. Had some kind of fruity frozen cocktail, didn't really feel anything. She had a bottle of tequila with about 2 shots left in it. I did one, friend did another. Still no big deal and I didn't like any of the other liquor she had in the house. She tells me, oh go look in the freezer on the back porch, there's some stuff in there.
I go look and what do I find? Everclear. Hadn't drank that gasoline since high school but I bring it in. By now I'm buzzed a bit from earlier drinks. When I get buzzed I think I'm superhuman and can drink everything. I'm going to do a straight up shot of everclear. Everyone in the room tells me I'm crazy but I laugh them off. Do my straight shot of everclear. 5 minutes later I'm sitting there holding my head up with my elbow on the table, head cradled in hand. 5 minutes later I'm not feeling too good. Wander off without saying a word to anyone. Go to the bathroom to puke, while puking shit my pants at the same time. Too drunk to go tell anyone what has happened, crawl into the first bed I can find. Have to get up 2 more times to puke, shit at the same time. Still too drunk and now too embarrassed to tell anyone. Crawl back in the bed I found.
3:00 a.m. rolls around and friend comes looking for me. By now I'm starting to sober up just a bit. Tell her what happened. She gets me clean clothes and I wash off while still drunk. Lay a blanket on top of the bed I had laid in with my shitty pants on, go back to sleep. Wake up about 2 in the afternoon the next day but have to get my hungover arse in the shower and start washing her bed sheets.
Will never drink everclear again.
[–] TheKobold 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
On my 25th birthday I decided I was going to get drunker than I ever had. Something about a 1/4 century or some nonsense. So I started out with a bottle of scotch, took it to work with me at the pub, sipped on it every chance I got, the bartenders and waitresses kept bringing me back shots and fucked up drinks. I Left work early with about 1/3 of my bottle gone and a serious start to my drunk going. Got to my buddies and we did some jello shots more drinking and some party games. At some point I passed out on the lawn for a few minutes while trying to make a snow angel in the dead grass, I ended up on the bottom of a couple dog piles, made out with my friends wife a smidgen, and then the call of nature struck at some point and I ran to the bathroom. Right as I started to unleash the flood gates I felt my stomach start to gurgle, here I am having whiskey shits and I need to unload my gut. I frantically looked around for a trash can or other container for my puke but the trash can was over flowing and the shits wouldn't stop, so I did what any sane man would do i tried to reach the tub in front of me. I didn't make it. I did make it as far as between my legs though and loaded up my pants with a nice big puddle of barf. As soon as my orifices settled down I called for help screaming drunkenly at the other not so drunks that I needed pants. My buddy came to the rescue.
[–] JesusRules 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
wahahahahahaa, that's fucking gross!
[–] TheKobold ago
Yes it was. I think I burned those pants afterwords.
[–] DammitMoonMoon ago
At least you didn't shit in them at the same time as puking like I did. Totally not cool man.
[–] TheKobold ago
Yea I was lucky, I was already on the john. I thought I had it bad until I read yours. At least mine is funny now that I look back at it.
[–] 9459740? 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Shots creep on you so sneakily. Left a club in the back seat of my cousins car asleep. Woke halfway to my house about to piss myself. Demanded to pull over. Get out, get it out while cars behind me speed by. Ahhh such a relief. Get back in the car and there's pee all over my pants. Cousin tells the story every single time.
[–] JesusRules 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
sitting at work on the computer now, sweating profusely and reaking of booze, I just wana go home!!!
[–] bourbonexpert [S] 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Sneak a drink. It's the only way
[–] goat404 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Go pro
[–] watch_listed 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Got obliterated on a Friday night, was still hungover Monday morning.
[–] Grospoliner 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Half a bottle of scotch in one night. Threw up in a cardboard box at 3 in the morning, spend the next 5 hours with a hammering headache because I was at a friends house and he didn't have any ibuprofen in his bathroom and had taken my keys sometime during the evening. Also cleaned up the puke that leaked through the cardboard box during this time.
[–] bourbonexpert [S] ago
Hahahahha
[–] armday2day 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
DUI, went to jail, shit sucked
[–] bourbonexpert [S] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Yup. I'd gladly pay 1000 for a cab rather than the shit I had to deal with