We've revised the immigration policy to help you become citizens of the first world to help you integrate into a first world society. We're willing to assist you in bettering your standard of living, for you and your children.
Upon arrival into our once great country we require an effort on your behalf in order to best accommodate our society. Firstly, though it may seem difficult you must learn English, though this may seem difficult it is necessary because we are an English speaking nation. If you would rather learn French then fuck off to Quebec and learn French.
If you've been here for a month you must pass a literacy test that inidcates a willingness to integrate. Upon passing this test your benefits will be continued and so the path continues. If you fail to show up for this test, or fail, there will be a short grace period in which you can recover and proceed. Many resources will be provided for you to help you pass this literacy test - no need to be afraid. However, if you fail to comply and do not pass, or fail to show up for the tests then fuck off.
After 3 months your English will be good enough for you to communicate with your new neighbours and at this point it's expected that you start doing 30 minimum hours a week of community service. This is to ensure that you are integrating well into the current functioning society and to give you a glimpse of what it takes to keep this going. As long as you meet your minimum requirements for community service hours your benefits will continue and you can remain here. If at some point your hours start to taper and you stop meeting the minimum then you can fuck off.
After 3 months of community service, you must enroll in a GED course in which it's expected that you learn, and pass, the basic education required for most jobs in Canada. If you enroll in this GED and can maintain a decent grade average then your benefits will continue, however, if at some point you decide to dropout for no good reason then you can fuck off.
Once you receive your GED, your benefits cease and you can start making your own way like every other person in this country has to do. You will never be eligible for welfare unless you become a Canadian citizen - which you must also do within the standard time-frame or you can fuck off.
Though we respect that fact that you come from a different culture things are different here and we have a system of laws that must be followed. If at any point in time you decide that you are above these laws and break any of them then you can fuck off.
This program is necessary to ensure a smooth integration into Canadian society and without such rules it is apparent that you think this is a free-ride, but that's not what life is about and we don't believe that helps anyone. Help us by helping yourself, if you don't want to help us then we don't want to help you and you can fuck off.
Religion is a right in Canada, freedom of religion is something we believe in for Candians, however, you aren't Canadian and there is a long arduous road ahead to get to the level where you can speak out against our established system. If you disagree with this, that's totally fine, but you can fuck off regardless.
Welcome to real world, if you don't like the real world then seriously - fuck off.
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[–] IAmTheLiqour ago
Send this as a memo to the minister of immigration. It's a damn good policy.