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[–] 2nddammit 0 points 161 points (+161|-0) ago 

No kids. This is a good thing. Now you don't have to spend the rest of your life with crazy.

Make the split as amicable as possible. Continue your plans to better your situation and work on yourself. Once the divorce is over, don't ever contact her again. Live you life and be thankful for the opportunity to improve it.

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[–] Firevine [S] 0 points 79 points (+79|-0) ago 

No kids, and we rent.

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[–] RonBennington 0 points 57 points (+57|-0) ago 

Jackpot!

[–] [deleted] 9 points 27 points (+36|-9) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Nately 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

So glad to hear that. Do y'all have a prenuptial?

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[–] BlackLivesMatter111 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Honestly, though, if you don't want kids - if you aren't seriously discussing having children within the first year of your marriage, you're gonna have a bad time.

Everyone I've known who hasn't made serious plans for children either before marriage or quickly thereafter is divorced. I know it sounds like horrible advice, but children keep a marriage together. If you don't want to have children with a woman you're married to, you might as well just date.

No kids is a big red flag for a failing marriage.

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[–] GentleGorzog 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

This dude, 2nddammit, just said what I wanted to say. Only 10 times shorter. I bow to him. And then I shut up.

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[–] 22jam22 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

very good advice. But be a real man get a dog!

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[–] 2nddammit 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Cats are often easier when you rent. I'm a dog person, but I did adopt a cat from my friend when he got married. That cat was a badass and loved the hell out of me. To bad I couldn't clone him.

[–] [deleted] 1 points 108 points (+109|-1) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Solstiare 0 points 51 points (+51|-0) ago 

...or get stuck with a made-up rape charge.

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[–] greyhunter4 0 points 42 points (+42|-0) ago 

...or get stuck with someone elses kids.

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[–] con77 4 points 58 points (+62|-4) ago 

a monkey dont let go of one branch"dick" until it has a firm grasp on another "dick". ya dummy.

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[–] TheTrigger 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

God, do I love that metaphor. It sums up so much wisdom, in such a concise way.

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[–] Halstan 0 points 54 points (+54|-0) ago 

If you don't have kids then its a non issue. Just like breaking up with a gf. Take your shit and bounce.

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[–] TheTrigger 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

↑that. OP, there's a reason "lawyer up, hit the gym, delete facebook" is such a ubiquitous meme-saying. That's really all you have to do, atm. It's the first thing you need to do, and possibly the last (since, thankfully, you don't have kids or shared assets to worry about).

[–] [deleted] 7 points 28 points (+35|-7) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] WitnesstheSalt 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Assuming you want to try to pull her back in when she's shown how weak and damaged she is. She's using a divorce is sin religion as a reason to divorce. Time to pull your dick out of the crazy while you still can.

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[–] thrus 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Most marriages have more legal paperwork, party planning, quoting prices involved then religion. I'm sure it has happened but I have not hear of (even friend of a friend in person, not internet thing) where the ball got rolling and the consoling sessions made them realize they were not right for each other and they called it off.

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[–] RumpRangerRick 7 points 1 points (+8|-7) ago 

I don't believe in any God that forces a man to be tied to the woman for the rest of his life in a hostile, loveless marriage.

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[–] spookybm 1 points 12 points (+13|-1) ago  (edited ago)

Yeah... marriage isn't about you anymore.
That's where the young generation forgets what it was actually meant for.
You go from, We to Me. Where Me is both of you.
That is the bound you swore when you said your vows.
A divorce says that you lied, not only to yourself, but to your families.
In my country, a divorce is an insult to the parents, and usually it is unforgivable. You may as well live alone.
Why people get married nowadays is a mystery, when they say "Love is all we need" and the average couple doesn't even know what love is.
"Oh, I've been with him for X days, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH"
I saw a facebook post that goes "Happy 3 week anniversary, I love you so much"
seriously, "3 week anniversary" isn't a thing.
It's shit like that that makes me conclude that women nowadays don't love a man for the content of his character but rather the content of his life, physically and materialistic.
Until you understand that marriage is NOT solely about Love, but that it as an agreement to both of you and whoever watches from above that you are ready to take on life together, DON'T GET FUCKING MARRIED.

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[–] WEHRMACHT_BITCHES_AT 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Marriage isn't about what's good for you. It's about what's good for the nation. It's not supposed to be this rosy fluffy bs image of two people giving each other back massages for 65 years...

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[–] Hehax 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

It used to be justified in the old times. It mostly was about social security.

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[–] VulgarChristian 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Try reading this if you have the time. Big difference between divorce and putting away, just another screw up in translation:

Divorce: A Gift of God's Love - by Walter L Callison

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[–] Datagod 0 points 26 points (+26|-0) ago 

Cut your losses man. Leave, take everything you can. Let her deal with the mess.

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[–] Broc_Lia 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Careful. Leaving requires a lawyer: All kinds of things are considered domestic abuse these days, including cutting your spouse off from money (even if it's yours) and not paying the rent.

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[–] Rezlung 1 points 24 points (+25|-1) ago 

AWALT. It sounds like you are in a good place all things considered. I went through the breakup of a nine year relationship four years ago, and at first I was devastated. Shortly after, when I'd settled into the rhythm of being single I realized how much happier I was without the gf around. I've been dating a waaaaaay hotter girl who's like ten years my junior for the last three years, and I did some major slaying of the poontang on my 'year off.' Hit the gym if you're not already in shape, make an account on some dating sites, buy yourself a couple new outfits, and focus on your own life projects. You'll probably find yourself way happier than with the (frankly immature and stupid sounding) wife, and since you didn't have kids you won't get raped in divorce court. Sucks about the cat though, that would make me more upset than anything else

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[–] Firevine [S] 0 points 18 points (+18|-0) ago 

I mentioned to one of my friends that even in the best of times, I had a backup plan. You pretty much described it.

I am going to miss that badass cat though.

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[–] Morbo 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

Sucks about the cat, man. As for the rest, well I've been through something similar that led to a divorce with no children involved. She may have been away for a week and a half, but this is something much longer in the making. I guarantee you this is something that started more than a year ago. She has been building up a case against you and needed someone like her mother or a close friend to hear her story and agree with her assessment. That was the catalyst that led to the divorce coming out. I can't be for certain on this, but as other Goats have pointed out, she more than likely has someone on the side. Women rarely move without a safety net but it is still possible she thinks she can make it on her own without a man. Either way her decision here is pretty much final. No matter what you two may have shared over the years together, there's nothing left to salvage. She doesn't want to salvage things. She wants to move on with either her man-in-waiting or take her plunge headlong into the unknown. As for you, well just take a deep breath, gather your strength and work towards making a clean break. I had to do that and I haven't looked back. Take what you learned here and make a better tomorrow for you. Focus on your tech school plans. Don't get seriously involved with any woman until you're where you want to be in life. If later you do decide to settle down again, do it with the knowledge that it could happen again, but, also choose your next partner carefully to minimize that risk. You've been given a second chance here man. Take this opportunity to be more and do more. Value your freedom and don't let someone else take it away from you. And most importantly, get yourself another badass cat.

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[–] ashekchum 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Go for visitation rights for the cat. It can at the least be used for bargaining. Obviously the cat is very important to her.

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[–] LA6661 0 points 24 points (+24|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Curious what religion she is, because for most of them, divorce goes strictly against what is considered right. Sorry that you're hurting, hope things get better for you.

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[–] Firevine [S] 0 points 26 points (+26|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Christian. Southern baptist specifically.

Thanks. :) I'm very confused about her going on about religion, because not one single time in almost nine years have I ever done anything that could even be construed as trying to prevent her from practicing.

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[–] Mediocrity 0 points 36 points (+36|-0) ago 

So LA6661 is right. Divorce is heavily frowned upon in all Christian traditions. Not only did someone get to her, that someone also used the Bible against her.

Be warned, though - if your mother in law did have a hand in this, she likely didn't do it blind. Chances are she's got plans for how to tackle the divorce; specifically, division of property. And you don't have the upper hand in court - your soon to be ex does.

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[–] piratse 1 points 30 points (+31|-1) ago 

Shes fucking another dude and that's her excuse.

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[–] Y8goKTH959VCLKty8xIz 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

She's fucking someone else and feels guilty because she's not married to them

[–] [deleted] 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago 

[Deleted]
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