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[–] EndDrugAndOtherWars 0 points 21 points (+21|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Have you ever been hit in the nuts so hard you immediately projectile vomit?

I have.

The girl who witnessed it was impressed, not grossed-out.

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[–] Sir_Laughs-a-lot 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

I...I can't decide if I want to hear your story or not. What is it about nutcracker stories that make us grab our own balls and clench our legs like its about to happen to us too?

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[–] bikergang_accountant 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

See ladies, I'm not gross, even when I vomit.

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[–] Potato_McGingerbeard 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

No, but I've been hit in the dick so hard it felt like I'd ripped it in half (hit a tree in a practice run at an MTB race), and for some reason had a sudden urge to piss real bad, even though there wasn't anything there when I tried. It was all good, no damage to the old fella.

Took me a few minutes to realise my hand was broken after that.

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[–] MaunaLoona 4 points 12 points (+16|-4) ago  (edited ago)

Women profoundly exaggerate the pain of childbirth. Their body is designed to do it. The body releases hormones to help things stretch and pain killing hormones as well. Pain is there to indicate that you're doing something wrong and is a signal for you to stop doing it. It would make no sense for a natural function of the body to be painful.

This myth is scaring some women away from having children and needs to be put to rest.

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[–] Inque_Yutani 1 points 12 points (+13|-1) ago 

I cringe at every Hollywood birth scene. They always have the actress scream like she's birthing Cthulhu from the front and pooping the city of R'lyeh out the back door.

That is the oddest thing I have written in months right there.

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[–] littul_kitton 1 points 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

Oh noes! You are quoting a racist! Don't call it up if you can't send it back down!

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[–] Firevine 2 points 4 points (+6|-2) ago 

My mom had kidney stones several months back. She said they were far worse than childbirth. Her and I both almost died during my birth.

Suck it up, ladies. If men can build a civilization, you can have a kid.

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[–] cmor88 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Kidney stones? How large are we talking? I've experienced a few of those.

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[–] 7201134? 5 points 2 points (+7|-5) ago  (edited ago)

I'd say you're mostly right except for one thing.

A year or two ago I experienced a cut on my hand that went into the fatty tissue of my palm and exposed muscle. Getting the numbing and having that stitched was one of the worst pains of my life.

Some women can experience a tear during birth where wall of the vagnia opens into the anus and basically creates one large hole. I imagine that probably hurts pretty bad. Try digging something sharp into the skin on the under side of your dick where it meets your ballsack. That's probably close to what chlidbirth feels like. Or dig a fingernail between your ballsack and your anus. Multiply that that pain to how it would feel if it was tearing apart.

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[–] Artofchoke 2 points 0 points (+2|-2) ago 

The tear itself without anaesthetic would be absolute agony. The stitching is painful, having it distended it painful. Having urine land on a wound is painful. Having the tissue stretched to move the bowels is painful. Having to clean the tissue after evacuating is painful. Every fucking aspect of this is pain, some of it weeks long. So no, a kick to the balls is not an appropriate comparison. Dysentery is a decent comparison.

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[–] MaunaLoona 6 points 0 points (+6|-6) ago 

You know who you remind me of? You're like that person in youtube comments that has to point out that they know a black person with high IQ in a video that talks about IQ distributions of whites and blacks. Yes, we know there are exceptions. That's why they are called trends and not "rules without any exceptions." No one is saying that no childbirth is painful.

By the way, the prevalence of birth-related injuries has increased as women are routinely given painkillers during childbirth, which is good for doctors because they get to sell more C-sections and episiotomies.

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[–] CrudOMatic 1 points 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

I call bullshit. Many women have experienced pain during childbirth. Are you calling my mother a liar? I mean, there is calling a woman out on bullshit, then there is saying that they're all liars about everything.

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[–] SuperHappyFunBall 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I Laughed out Loud. Thank you. I needed a smile.

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[–] SirDigbyChikenCaesar 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Yeah, you need to have 3 beers in the morning if you're going to use such a tiny mug.

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[–] AmaleksHairyAss 1 points 1 points (+2|-1) ago 

wat

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[–] tanukihat 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

That was a really long-winded way of telling that old joke. I mean, it's a good joke.

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[–] Gorillion 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Knew a girl who had fucking terrible menstrual cramps. Apparently all the women in her family had it like that. Curling up in the fetal position, dramatic body temperature shifts, wanting to die, puking. The works. The way she described it sounded exactly like the after-feeling of a serious nut-strike, once the immediate "sharp" pain and initial shock has passed and you know you're really in for a bad time.

Someone below mentioned their wife saying the contractions were worse than actual childbirth. That would match the cramping story. It's the uterus contracting and squeezing to get all the old lining and BLOODY MUCUS out of their VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(That last bit for you queasy faggots out there)

[–] [deleted] 1 points 1 points (+2|-1) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Firevine 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Both can kill you though.

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[–] cmor88 1 points 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

That doesn't detract from the fact that getting kicked in the balls offers no reward. Unless the one receiving the blow is a masochist or some sort of deal is involved..