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[–] Stinkieroldgoat 2 points 87 points (+89|-2) ago 

Not that anyone on Voat will care, but I have a little story for you:

I was the last of 4 kids. I was an accident. During my mom's pregnancy, she found out she had breast cancer. Doc said she should abort so she could start treatment. She didn't. So basically from the moment that I could understand what people around me could say, my father made it VERY well known to me that he wished I was dead. Why? Because my mom died because of her decision. As a result of her death, my dad fell into a spiral of drugs and alcohol.

I spent much of my teens bouncing between my sister and Dad, because my Dad came VERY close to having me taken away by CPS. He was on a near constant bender. if not for his pension from the post office, I don't know how we would have eatten or had lights. As it was, I did all the shopping, paid the bills with his checks, etc. But when I finally stopped caring about school, was when the fun started with CPS. Trouble was: My sister, while she was "better" in some ways, was a bitch also. Her husband would beat me regularly (Including one very memorable event in the garage with a shovel), and she would stand by and let it happen. I was also treated to daily reminders about how I was worthless, I shouldn't be alive, etc. etc. etc.

Fast forward to my 20s. Father is sick. Sister wants me to "care for him". That was when I made the decision to cut them loose forever. For all intents and purposes, my birth family is dead to me. It's been close to 10 years since the last time I even spoke to one of them.

It's tough sometimes. I have my wife and kids now, my own family. But it doesnt help the betrayal of losing people who should love you no matter what. That said: I'm happy. I'm happy to live life on my terms, learning what NOT to do from those people. At the end of the day your life is yours. Family isn't the end all be all that many in society play it up to be. They should be held to the same standard as everyone else: NO ONE DESERVES respect, it is earned. No exceptions.

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[–] maxoverdrive [S] 1 points 46 points (+47|-1) ago 

Good advice. My mother beat me regularly until I as twelve, and no one (including my father) believed it - they all though I was lying and punished me for it. I feared her terribly, every waking moment of the damned day, until I one day caught her hand as she was trying to knock me into a wall and told her "if you ever hit me again I'll fuck you up". My mom was all of five feet two inches, so when I was 12 I was actually taller and stronger than her.

I thought that would be the end of the abuse. I didn't realize at the time that the physical abuse was the least of it....and now I realize I've been taking it, for years, from others in my family, for reasons I can't even begin to fathom. Unfortunately, now I'm 50, and I'm realizing, tonight, far too late, just how fucked up my life has been because of it....

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[–] Stinkieroldgoat 0 points 23 points (+23|-0) ago 

Recognition and accepting are the first two steps to reconstruction and self preservation

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[–] Gorillion 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

Unfortunately, now I'm 50, and I'm realizing, tonight, far too late, just how fucked up my life has been because of it....

What are you talking about? With a bit of effort and luck, you could be POTUS in 20 years! ;-)

Congrads on getting free of the swamp.

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[–] AnarchyChad 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

Fuck, sorry to hear that. I can relate in a way, but not as bad as your situation. For what it's worth, you are pretty much a bad ass for getting out of that situation and putting your life on track. If there is such a thing as a heaven, she is probably smiling down upon you and never regretting her decision. You've done good by her by making something out of yourself.

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[–] TheTrigger 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago  (edited ago)

That was when I made the decision to cut them loose forever. For all intents and purposes, my birth family is dead to me. It's been close to 10 years since the last time I even spoke to one of them.

It's tough sometimes. I have my wife and kids now, my own family. But it doesnt help the betrayal of losing people who should love you no matter what. That said: I'm happy. I'm happy to live life on my terms, learning what NOT to do from those people. At the end of the day your life is yours. Family isn't the end all be all that many in society play it up to be. They should be held to the same standard as everyone else: NO ONE DESERVES respect, it is earned. No exceptions.

Wow, did you copy and paste that from one of my previous, drunken, rants? Sure sounds like you did.
I'm kidding, I know you didn't. Just sayin'... sometimes, you get the short straw.

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[–] Stinkieroldgoat 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

No, you stole it from me! :)

[–] [deleted] 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Gorillion 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

He knew I wouldn't let him intimidate me again. He backed down and let the conversation.

Can you expand on this? Looks like the site may have glitched when you were typing that.

But holy hell dude, huge props for surviving all of that. Sorry about momma dog. Hope you're able to have pets without any trouble these days.