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[–] Stinkieroldgoat 2 points 87 points (+89|-2) ago 

Not that anyone on Voat will care, but I have a little story for you:

I was the last of 4 kids. I was an accident. During my mom's pregnancy, she found out she had breast cancer. Doc said she should abort so she could start treatment. She didn't. So basically from the moment that I could understand what people around me could say, my father made it VERY well known to me that he wished I was dead. Why? Because my mom died because of her decision. As a result of her death, my dad fell into a spiral of drugs and alcohol.

I spent much of my teens bouncing between my sister and Dad, because my Dad came VERY close to having me taken away by CPS. He was on a near constant bender. if not for his pension from the post office, I don't know how we would have eatten or had lights. As it was, I did all the shopping, paid the bills with his checks, etc. But when I finally stopped caring about school, was when the fun started with CPS. Trouble was: My sister, while she was "better" in some ways, was a bitch also. Her husband would beat me regularly (Including one very memorable event in the garage with a shovel), and she would stand by and let it happen. I was also treated to daily reminders about how I was worthless, I shouldn't be alive, etc. etc. etc.

Fast forward to my 20s. Father is sick. Sister wants me to "care for him". That was when I made the decision to cut them loose forever. For all intents and purposes, my birth family is dead to me. It's been close to 10 years since the last time I even spoke to one of them.

It's tough sometimes. I have my wife and kids now, my own family. But it doesnt help the betrayal of losing people who should love you no matter what. That said: I'm happy. I'm happy to live life on my terms, learning what NOT to do from those people. At the end of the day your life is yours. Family isn't the end all be all that many in society play it up to be. They should be held to the same standard as everyone else: NO ONE DESERVES respect, it is earned. No exceptions.

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[–] maxoverdrive [S] 1 points 46 points (+47|-1) ago 

Good advice. My mother beat me regularly until I as twelve, and no one (including my father) believed it - they all though I was lying and punished me for it. I feared her terribly, every waking moment of the damned day, until I one day caught her hand as she was trying to knock me into a wall and told her "if you ever hit me again I'll fuck you up". My mom was all of five feet two inches, so when I was 12 I was actually taller and stronger than her.

I thought that would be the end of the abuse. I didn't realize at the time that the physical abuse was the least of it....and now I realize I've been taking it, for years, from others in my family, for reasons I can't even begin to fathom. Unfortunately, now I'm 50, and I'm realizing, tonight, far too late, just how fucked up my life has been because of it....

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[–] Stinkieroldgoat 0 points 23 points (+23|-0) ago 

Recognition and accepting are the first two steps to reconstruction and self preservation

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[–] Gorillion 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

Unfortunately, now I'm 50, and I'm realizing, tonight, far too late, just how fucked up my life has been because of it....

What are you talking about? With a bit of effort and luck, you could be POTUS in 20 years! ;-)

Congrads on getting free of the swamp.

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[–] AnarchyChad 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

Fuck, sorry to hear that. I can relate in a way, but not as bad as your situation. For what it's worth, you are pretty much a bad ass for getting out of that situation and putting your life on track. If there is such a thing as a heaven, she is probably smiling down upon you and never regretting her decision. You've done good by her by making something out of yourself.

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[–] TheTrigger 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago  (edited ago)

That was when I made the decision to cut them loose forever. For all intents and purposes, my birth family is dead to me. It's been close to 10 years since the last time I even spoke to one of them.

It's tough sometimes. I have my wife and kids now, my own family. But it doesnt help the betrayal of losing people who should love you no matter what. That said: I'm happy. I'm happy to live life on my terms, learning what NOT to do from those people. At the end of the day your life is yours. Family isn't the end all be all that many in society play it up to be. They should be held to the same standard as everyone else: NO ONE DESERVES respect, it is earned. No exceptions.

Wow, did you copy and paste that from one of my previous, drunken, rants? Sure sounds like you did.
I'm kidding, I know you didn't. Just sayin'... sometimes, you get the short straw.

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[–] Stinkieroldgoat 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

No, you stole it from me! :)

[–] [deleted] 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Gorillion 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

He knew I wouldn't let him intimidate me again. He backed down and let the conversation.

Can you expand on this? Looks like the site may have glitched when you were typing that.

But holy hell dude, huge props for surviving all of that. Sorry about momma dog. Hope you're able to have pets without any trouble these days.

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[–] SirDigbyChikenCaesar 0 points 30 points (+30|-0) ago 

50 years? You're 50 years old and they're acting this way? That's them. That's 100% them. You are old enough to take this in stride. You are old enough to walk away. You are old enough that when they reach out to you and pretend that this never happened you can put it behind you. You are. You can deal with all this BS. I know it and I'm pulling for you. Put this madness behind you and focus everything on you right now. What can you do right now to make yourself feel better? No drugs. You can do it.

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[–] brandon816 1 points 18 points (+19|-1) ago 

Funny, I remember when it used to be families disowning a member because they came out as gay or something like that. Now, it seems to have turned around. Instead of everyone realizing that it was dumb to disown people for insignificant stuff like that, they've just targeted a different group instead.

I'm not going to speak about the interactions you have with the rest of your family. But, for the sister you helped in a time of need, for her to turn on you so quickly, you should be thankful that you realized how spiteful they were before coming to a time when you would have to rely on them.

I hope you are able to recover from this and build your own family.

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[–] maxoverdrive [S] 3 points 13 points (+16|-3) ago 

Addendum: what really gets to me, after most of a bottle of Wild Turkey, is that I helped raise both my cousins (Japenese-American) and my nieces/nephew and grand-nieces/grand-nephews (Mexican-American). Yeah, I should probably explain: the women in my family have a very hard time keeping their legs closed; as soon as they hit puberty they're riding someone's pony, and eventually they get pregnant. My own mother was 15 when she got knocked up with me. We're a horny and very stupid bunch, which is why I have grand-nieces/grand-nephews at the age of 50.

In any event, I helped raise these kids and I adore them. I don't have any of my own (due to some very poor life choices...e.g., I picked some truly slutty women as life-mates, and have suffered for it), so i love these fucking kids. They're the closest I'm ever going to get to having kids of my own, since I don't like it's right for a 50-year-old to be having babies, especially when he smokes and will probably be dead of lung cancer inside of 10 years. Now, not a single one will speak to me, since their parents told them that I hate them because they aren't white. Seriously, that's what their parents told them - I hate them because they aren't white. They said so in their emails.

All of these kids now think I hate them because they aren't white. What the ever-loving fuck? I hate illegal immigrants for contributing to the decline of America and the institution of wage-slavery; I sure as shit don't hate non-whites. For fuck's sake, my first real girlfriend (at the age of 12, I was an early bloomer) was black as night, a "Nubian goddess" in every sense of the word. Sweet Jesus, how I loved how her skin shown nearly purple under the sun...especially when I had my hands on her breasts....but I digress....

But now I'm told that I'm a racist, and therefore all of these kids, whom I've been "Uncle Max" to, no longer wish to associate with me because I'm a fucking "racist"....god almighty, but that is the worst of it, by far....

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[–] RumpRangerRick 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

A long-time acquaintance / peer / co-worker recently made a social media post that essentially said something like "If you're a Trump supporter, I automatically ascribe these following negative traits towards you. End of story. No excuses."

I'm thinking to myself "WTF Man ?! Just because I support Trump doesn't change anything about me before you expressed this sentiment."

I wanted to take it offline and start up a dialogue with him, asking for clarification, but decided in the end to just Unfollow him instead :(

I had a German professional colleague unfriend me over my support of our President-Elect, hoping for a better America, and decrying the protests and violence we're seeing in Portland.

Very sad :(

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[–] TelescopiumHerscheli 3 points -3 points (+0|-3) ago 

Your German colleague did the right thing. A friend of mine voted for Brexit (UK here), so I've taken him off my Christmas card list. If I used Facebook, I'd certainly unfriend anyone I knew who voted for Trump.

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[–] TelescopiumHerscheli 1 points -1 points (+0|-1) ago 

But you are a racist. That's easy to see from your comment history.

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[–] maxoverdrive [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

You're so full of shit, you redditor cunt, that I can smell the stink from here. And apparently a number of other voaters agree with me. If shit hutrts your precious free0fees, I suggest you slink black off to reddit, where worthless cums-stains like you belong....

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[–] DietCokehead1 1 points 9 points (+10|-1) ago 

Your Voat family is here for you always!!!

[–] [deleted] 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] maxoverdrive [S] 1 points 12 points (+13|-1) ago 

No, they won't. They're fucking Germans - if anyone can hold a grudge over a lifetime, it's fucking Germans....

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[–] durchfall 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Insert war jokes here

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[–] gazillions 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

The problem with messed up families is that they are usually all encompassing. They take up too much of your emotional content and that gets in the way of forging healthier relationships. As much as it may hurt right now to be treated so poorly, it's probably a blessing in disguise.

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[–] smokratez 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Move to the south. People are lovely there.

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[–] maxoverdrive [S] 1 points 4 points (+5|-1) ago  (edited ago)

I loved the South when I was in basic, both Kentucky and Georgia. For the food and the iced tea, if nothing else. Oh, and not to mention the ladies (grin)...ah, you have such wonderfully fine ladies....

I have no fucking idea why I never went back...Basic (or leave from Basic) was one of the happiest times in my life.....

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[–] CrazyInAnInsaneWorld 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Lifelong Southerner. Can confirm. Come on down to Dixie. "Oh I wish I was in the Land of Cotton, Old times there are not forgotten..."

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[–] aria_taint 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

You're right about that. I was in a Walmart in SC and a guy in line struck up a conversation with me. I'm from the "are you fucking talking to me???" North. By the time I checked out he found out I was there on vacation and he owned a construction company and said "hey, here's my address stop by we're having a company BBQ" I was just like why can't everyone be this nice. No I didn't go because of other family obligations but if I had noting going on hell yes I would have gone. The south is great!

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[–] smokratez 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Sounds about right.

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