I wrote this up last night in response to this and I wanted to see what boat thinks about it:
You lived! You've seen more than most western men will ever see. You're early life sounds awesome. I can't be the only one who envies your life experience. Fuck, I've thought about joining the military. I don't give a fuck if its for the oligarchs, for the bankers, I just want to get out there and put my life on the line. Let's fucking gamble. Roll the dice. Tyler Durden had it right but he didn't go far enough. Its not about letting go. Its about ripping out the steering wheel and throwing it out the window.
Do we seek meaning? Fuck no. We're fucking animals. If god proved his existence, right now, and revealed the meaning of life to humanity, nothing would fucking change. We're savage motherfuckers. Fuck yes war is immoral, unproductive, inefficient, but that's how we got this far. We're never going to be "civilized". Maybe one day we'll be a united earth, but then we're gonna wage interstellar war, and we're gonna fuck shit up, or get fucked. Ear or be eaten. Kill or be killed. You lived the most basic, truest truth, of the universe. Its like you connected with a real force in the universe, and now you unplugged.
You just got high and now this is your big comedown.