I'm a white, 26 year old male. After reading your post, I've thought about a few things. I have to be honest. For a time I have been contemplating suicide for a while and I still have trouble sleeping at night. I even attempted once. Failed and learned from that experience. Vowed to myself never to do it again. I even remembered a comment from a roommate on suicide back in 2012 when I wanted to do it again. I still think about it all the time, but always hold back because I think about the consequences if I did succeed. I realize there are people, including family who love me for who I am and support me for what I do. I still get shit from two others when I tell them the truth after they ask me "When are you going to graduate?"
I even have an Homeland Security Studies professor who supports me and wants to help me succeed. We talk everyday. He asks how I'm really doing and I tell him the truth. He told me it's not the end of the world. It's not.
What doesn't help is we're all online in our own little bubbles. We don't go outside. We blame everything on something or someone else and we definately don't talk to one another anymore. Everyone is on their little Apple phones & what not. Everything is fuck you and fuck you too. Never a hello, not even a wave. Last night when I couldn't sleep, I've thought about it. About everything. That it's not the end of the world. There is hope. There is hope for all of us Goats out there.
Speaking of hobbies, my hobby is writing. I love to write fanfitction and fucking good at too. I get hate from others (mostly SJWs) about not being diverse enough. "You should have Doomguy as a girl. Jeff & Gary need to be girls. Commander Shepard needs to be a girl. Your stories have to have girls or trannies or a POC." Know what? I don't give a shit what you think. If you don't like it, don't read it. It's simple as that. I'm the writer and you are not. Deal with it.
Another hobby is storm chasing. I love watch lighting streak across the sky in my car. Follow the next set of thunder cells. Tornado warning. I'm on the road heading out to that location. I see one. I report it to local law enforcement. Hurricane season is not active this summer thanks to some Saharan dust storm spewing dust and dry air into the tropics. I love meteorology. The science of the Weather.
The reason I have "Javik2186" as my username is because. Javik is the most hated underrated character in Mass Effect. I like him. I like the character. His personality matches mine in a way. Cynical, yet humorous. Someone who questions the narrative.
I have to say, we all do have a Doomguy, Commander Shepard, Master Chief, Snake, Sam Fisher, or whoever in all of us. Whenever someone tells you can't do an activity because it's offensive. Don't hunker under a boulder. Fight back. Continue onward with the activity. Whatever it is, such as going hunting, to the gun range, writing fanfiction. You name it. Keep doing what you love to do. Don't let anyone tell not.
Damm, I needed that.
Thank you, The_Duke_of_Dabs.