[–] souwentwunti [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Alternative titles:

Prehistoric caveman escapes from museum and is shot down by police.

Time traveler man from 5000 BC is shot by police officer for carrying a flashlight.

Guy practicing the olympics torch run, shot by the Police.

Police cruiser accidentally catches fire after rolling onto the set of The Wickerman.

Innocent man tries to help a cop light a cigarette, gets shot instead.

Police shoot innocent man attempting to set record for worlds largest match.

Fiery but mostly peaceful interaction.

Police open fire on innocent man trying to offer him a roasted marshmallow.

Homeless man, just trying to cook a warm hot meal for himself is brutally attacked and shot at by police.

Prometheus shot at by a police officer as he walked to give people fire.

White cop shoots a homeless man trying to warm himself up because he was freezing.

Peaceful Candleight Vigil Attendee Shot By White Cop.

Disabled man shot for carrying Olympic torch.

Police shoot a man that was just carrying a large match.

Jealous cop shoots at caveman who discovered fire first.

Peaceful protester shot while trying to keep warm on chilly October day.

Disturbed Seattle Police Officer shoots at "mythical creature" after setting his own squad car on fire.

Police used unnecessary force on civilian with a match.

Man trying to cook food for his family struck down by police gunfire.

Police attacks mostly peaceful protester.

S’mores banned this year. Police are killing innocent people with sticks on fire.

Peaceful hippie tries to help officer light his cigarette, maliciously shot at by same fascist enforcement member of right wing Seattle gang.

Seattle police shoot at man through window of cruiser with AR. Ultimately catching car on fire! For man trying to light a cigarette!

Excessive Force Used on Peaceful Protester

Police shoot Robin Williams during Jumanji filming

Unarmed Olympic torch athlete shot at by police.

Shots fired at man for asking officer if he needed a light

A man has been arrested for attempting to cook some bacon

Cop shoots at innocent man carrying a tiki torch home for the pool he is building for his dying son

Caveman who definitely didn't throw a burning piece of wood in a patrol car, shot at, possibly hit in unprovoked Police attack

Police fire shots at peaceful man with home made cigarette lighter

Officer using deadly force is heard on the radio declaring "shots fired, he threw a stick at me". Community leaders expected to renew calls to defund the Police.

[–] bobdole9 ago 

If one of these doesn't make it as a Babylon Bee article headline, I will be disappointed.

[–] whateverman223 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

It's just a torch man. It's not like he had a pitchfork.

[–] derram 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

[–] headfire ago 

Many of this guy’s alternative headlines are now in the comments section on youtube.

lol Maybe some of you people shouldn’t be so casual about that.

[–] fusir ago 

Decide to fight a drug war, you are going to get a lot of crazy druggies going after you for revenge.

[–] Nicoladepierola ago 

Beautiful

[–] allahead ago 

[–] shreen5o5 ago 

omg

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