Females Archived Girlfriend Stole Your Sperm...Is it Legal? Nope, it's Considered a "Gift" (dailymail.co.uk)
submitted ago by Native
Posted by: Native
Posting time: 1.8 years ago on
Last edit time: never edited.
Archived on: 5/15/2019 10:00:00 AM
Views: 315
SCP: 28
30 upvotes, 2 downvotes (94% upvoted it)
Females Archived Girlfriend Stole Your Sperm...Is it Legal? Nope, it's Considered a "Gift" (dailymail.co.uk)
submitted ago by Native
Sort: Top
[–] LexOrandiLexCredendi 2 points 12 points 14 points (+14|-2) ago
Stop having premarital sex. Problem solved.
[–] Le_Squish 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Expecting people to have self-control? You mad man!
[–] LexOrandiLexCredendi ago
I know. It's almost as if it's possible to avoid lust, premarital sex, and masturbation while still leading a fulfilling life and having a large family.
[–] talmoridor-x 3 points 1 point 4 points (+4|-3) ago
Enjoy your low testosterone.
[–] LexOrandiLexCredendi 1 point -1 points 0 points (+0|-1) ago
The generations of people who existed and got married before having sex would indicate that you are incorrect. Also those generations were considerably more manly than those living in the West these days.
[–] ForTheUltimate 1 point -1 points 0 points (+0|-1) ago
sex toys are cleaner
[–] Moln0014 2 points -2 points 0 points (+0|-2) ago
If guys quit having sex with crazies, problem solved
[–] [deleted] 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago (edited ago)
[–] Native [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Wtf! The man has sperm from the Gods that’s impressive
[–] ForTheUltimate ago
tldr: there was no agreement that the deposit would be returned upon request.
The gift is given with the condition of not being used for pregnancy!
[–] ForTheUltimate ago
not being dominated = dominating
cancer
[–] WhiteRonin 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Then that means rape is gifting of sperm.
[–] Native [S] 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
In other words, rapists = Santa Claus...hmm
[–] WhiteRonin 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Milkmen too!
[–] Adminstrater 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
What would constitute valid theft of sperm?
Obviously a stranger stealing sperm from a trash can seems like a strange case to have to get lawyers involved.
I suppose the best thing a man can do is used very effective spermicide before disposal, but what would count as stolen sperm?
What if I have a legal document that says all my future sperm is owned by a specific limited liability entity, would that mean not only I not have control over it's use, but also am protected from it's illicit use?
[–] PewterKey 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
There was some 4chan post about a guy putting hot sauce in his used condoms. And it had the expected result with one sperm thief. Honestly spermicide is SAFE for human contact, you don't need it to be safe for her after sex. Add some bleach or lye and that sperm is going to be dead, not to mention destroy her PH balance and might destroy her ability to get pregnant for a few days. Sperm die very easily from heat. Or just being flushed down a drain works.
As for stealing sperm. Trash theft has some interesting cases, some trash cans are "owned" trash and some are "free" trash. So a case could be made for stealing sperm from the company that owns your trash, but I doubt they care. The better case would be not throwing it out immediately, the man "owning" his used condom gives him stronger rights to the contents. What's really fucked up is that a woman raping a man and taking his sperm in that violent act is treated as having received a gift. Even in cases of statutory rape. So it might functionally be almost impossible to have sperm stolen, except for maybe a sperm bank.
Actually a woman stealing sperm from a sperm bank would be a very ugly case. She could try to sue the man or bank for child support. The bank could sue her for lost property or custody even, the sperm bank might technically be the father. There might even be a roundabout case for the bank having been "raped". Man this is a weird hypothetical. But I look forward to the court case where a large sperm bank sues a mentally ill woman into a forced abortion of the 'rape baby'.
[–] Adminstrater 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago (edited ago)
I'm so happy you put so much thought into your reply. Thank you.
[–] Native [S] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Yes contract your will to a 503c also go the same with your future children to keep them legally safe
[–] Witsend 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Didn't Bill Clinton gift some sperm all over Monica Lewinsky?
[–] Native [S] 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
You could say she wore it with pride
[–] matthew-- 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
If you get spermjacked, slip her some abortion medicine. If that fails, punch to the stomache. Anything to force a miscarriage.
A few years for assault (unborn babies don't count as murder according to the legal system), or 18 years of child support... Hmmmmmmmm
[–] carnold03 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
I'm laughing at the idea a user suggested contacting planned parenthood for advice.
[–] Native [S] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Here’s a shocker about PP apparently they go to schools now and teach kids “proper sex” in other words how NOT to become a parent/-quite the opposite of their stated name
[–] carnold03 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
That is definitely disturbing news.
[–] 1cd1233 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Chalk it up as lesson learned. Always dispose your own condoms yourself & always be sure she swallows. Or,...you could always turn gay. Or, ask GOD what you should do, then do it.