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[–] WhiteRonin 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Women can be just as abusive as men.

I'd rather be hit than emotionally and/or verbally abused. The trama that is inflicted last way longer than a cut or bruise. Unless you're like me and now have knee pain from all the kicks I've taken while awake and asleep.

As a man, I believe it is wrong to abuse a woman. However, I now believe that since I'm a man there is no need to accept it either. Pick up your balls and leave! Fuck it if she claims you ran away or what, just ignore her and move on -- be a better person!

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[–] MrBlueSky [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Women can be just as abusive as men.

I absolutely agree...and I wonder about the men afraid of saying their SO hits them etc, its possibly the biggest hidden abuse

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[–] WhiteRonin 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

But we are men and showing signs of weakness is bad.

What pisses me off is if you stand up to a woman she'll cry abuse; stand down and back away you get called a sissy faggot.

So, I'd imagine that the tougher looking the guy is the higher chance he gets the double whammy of physical and mental abuse.

I've always wondered if Tyson really raped that woman ... I'd imagine that since he was the champion he'd be super stupid to hit anybody thus possibly innocent.

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[–] turtlepenis 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

I'd rather be hit than emotionally and/or verbally abused.

Yes.

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[–] 4855187? 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

In a long term relationship it's easy to think there's simply one person to blame, whether you blame the aggressor or the victim. Realistically it's a pathological transaction of codependence.

The emotional scars of physical and verbal abuse vary with the circumstance so you can't categorically say one is worse than the other, but certainly verbal abuse can be much more subtle and can boil a frog before they've realized it.

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[–] 123_456 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Having experienced both, as a child, I think verbal abuse is worse, because you really remember it. Physical pain, you kinda just blur that out of your mind, and your foget about it. But of course I'm not comparing extreme physical abuse. I just mean slapping, and pushing, and that sort of thing. But like someone else said, emotional, and physical abuse go hand in hand.

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[–] MrBlueSky [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

I agree, a slap you can live with (its not personal in some way, its the other person) the jibes and taunts live with you for ever...I still remember an insult from about age 11...'You are too fat, your trousers look like two butterballs from behind'. I remember that every day

[–] [deleted] 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] MrBlueSky [S] 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I'm sorry/appalled at what you say and I believe you are right , one comes after the other no matter what comes first

My ex, a big man, cowered in a corner if I raised my voice, his ex had trained him that he would be beaten if she was annoyed...I never got him the help to cure/help him with that. In the end we split up... no matter how many times I told him I would not hurt him he never trusted me not to hurt him. I tried to get him to get counselling but he never did..he shied away whenever I even frowned...and what is a relationship without trust?

EDIT he was fine when we were dating and for about 6 months after he moved in ...but he gradually deteriorated after that

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[–] ChanceofRain 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Abuse does have lasting effects that seem to be difficult to reverse. My first serious girlfriend years ago had been abused by her father and a former boyfriend and despite years passing by could never open up emotionally. It eventually caused us to split.

One time several years into our relationship I surprised her from behind as a joke and she broke down in tears and refused to talk to me for the rest of the night. I felt pretty bad but I had to let her go as it became clear that she would not heal from those wounds. I only message her a few times a year now, but I don't think she's really been able to get over her past.

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[–] Maxcactus 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I would say that emotional abuse would always be in the mix whether or not there was anything physical going on.

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[–] cyril75 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

My ex was never physical but she used threats, emotional, mental, financial and sexual abuse. Nasty person.

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[–] 4899014? 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I had a sociopath woman come into my and my (now ex) fiancée's lives. We were trying to do the right thing and help out an apparent old friend of my partner's. She was in and out of mental health facilities and stayed with us in the off times. I should have seen the red flags and been firm about it back then. Over the space of a year or so this insidious witch managed to destroy my life. We had things go missing and stolen all of a sudden (no prior problems in the neighbourhood), I caught her stealing things from our bedroom (which she denied and began turning my partner against me), and eventually had the gall to try and have me arrested and committed to a mental health facility.

After a traumatic experience going through all that (still dealing with nightmares about it many years later) the Dr's woke up after a day or so of observation (originally wanted to keep me for weeks) and let me go. With my fiancée no longer acting as a partner should, I got the hell out of that relationship and as far away from the situation as possible.

When she had the known mental and criminal history and I have a (still) clean record yet was still treated that way, I began to despise the entire system and how slanted it is against men. Add to that a severe distrust of Doctor's and genuine disgust at the arrogance of especially the psychiatric field and here I am today.

I'd rather have lost a bloody limb than have lived through that experience.

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[–] MrBlueSky [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

I am so sorry you went through that.

Some people affect or lives long after they should, and they are, most often, abusers. The 'Law' does not seem to have ways of dealing with it and it DOES cause major life problems, distress, physical injury, and sometimes death....but complain about a Stalker? Go to public court at your own expanse is the reply.

It is also an increasing issue as social media and online stalking lets them do this without your knowledge...I Just hope it never happens to me

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[–] 4938265? 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago  (edited ago)

In my opinion the law and it's enforcers are better off not getting involved sometimes. It's hard to draw the line where because you do have the pricks out there that are horrible people and need to be stopped. Any physical violence is where I'd draw the line. But I have to believe adults have the responsibility and capacity to deal with these things themselves.

For example in my case, the responders should have looked up my accusers record and mine, seen what the real deal is in a heartbeat, and suggested I consider changing living arrangement ASAP before leaving. But they didn't, there was no due process, I had to be the one to fight for my rights, and it wasn't until after a few days of persistence, observation, and them realising the mistake once they realised they knew who the other person was (whilst remaining calm the entire time so they don't use any anger against me - despite how completely rational it would have been considering my situation) where I saw freedom. By then I'd lost my job and my relationship was over (at least in my mind).

There were no repercussions for this other person, no justice. She'd destroyed a life and gotten off free. I've had years of medical costs since due to the night terrors and swathe of other issues since.

It has made me stronger though. I don't think another experience in my life will ever compare. I'm being tested for cancer and my response was to laugh and ask what else. A part of me is just tired and welcomes an exit strategy, a part of me has just grown to accept the pain and suffering in my life as the norm. But at the least, I'm no longer blaming myself any more. It's just the way things are.

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[–] DrBunsen 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

I am with a girl that was emotionally abused from birth till her 20s by her parents + family(that's when I stepped in her life and after sometime she broke with her parents/familiy, big fight happened). And she was damaged as fuck. Not only was she way less educated than her potentional, she was also very unstable from time to time. She didn't want to go to City's central place(we live near it) because her dad works there. Her parents would come to her school/workplace, call with not so nice messages et cetera. We were contacted by people from child services and the likes. They tried their best to negatively impact her life even after she left them.

Luckily she has been improving, ever so fast since she left them. She is better at school/work, takes her own decissions, less stressful and is overal happier. Everyone has been telling her she looks better than ever.

As far as I have seen BS on 4chan and what not, life's destroyed, I never wished them upon someone until I met these people.

Disclaimer: I may have anominized and changed some facts for her sake

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[–] MrBlueSky [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

I often times agree with those who say you should have to get training before you can become a parent. This is one of those times

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[–] DrBunsen 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

This was like a pyramid scheme, it has been going on for at least 2 generations. Destroy the childs self esteem, cut them off from the world, make them dependent on you. It also happened to her aunt, who is dead to the family, but I contacted her and I learned this shit happened to her too.

If they had a training, I doubt it would have worked, because this was all by design.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] MrBlueSky [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Hang on ...I am SO OUT OF THE LOOP on this... what do the Swedes have to do with emotional abuse?

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