Ughhhhh!!! For those of you who've been sober for 9 mos+, what was your relapse schedule like (if you had one; didn't know what else to call it)? I know it's different for everyone, but I just want to make sure I'm not like way off track here. I quit drinking April 7. Went on a bender from July 4-5. Then drank again last night (July 30). I want to make it past 90 days (my personal record thus far), but I'm aiming, of course, for at least a full year of sobriety.
Last night, I had this overwhelming anxiety. I can't explain it. It was a normal day for me, but I just suddenly felt VERY FUCKING ANXIOUS and I was out at an NPO function and landed up drinking not 1, not 2, but 3 margaritas! I know the anxiety catalyzed that, but I don't know where it fucking came from to fix it. Now I'm worried that I've got some sort of spontaneous anxiety problem or something. Maybe it's just that I'm overwhelmed with life, in general. That must be it, actually. But I do such a good job of acting chill, that I think I convinced myself that I'm chill. But I'm not chill. I'm not fucking chill at all; I'm scared as fuck most of the time about what the hell I'm doing in life and whether anything will pan out.
Lol, glad we got to the bottom of that. I wonder what I can do in those bizarre situations where I'm suddenly overwhelmed with anxiety, but can't just take deep breaths like a nut, because I'm in public and have to mingle and such.
OK, so please let me know if you had a sputter (like a few relapses) when you first started into sobriety. I just want to know if this is totally normal like, "Hey, GeneralBoobington, don't trip. It took me a handful of months to get my shit together, too, I relapsed twice in a 6 month period, but then it was fairly smooth sailing from there." Yeah, that'd be nice if someone could tell me that, hahaha.
Hope you guys are having a great day!