You are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

0
3

[–] BigFatDaddy 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I get that, I really do. But here's the thing, she's "conflicted" right? She will stay that way until absolutely forced to choose. Thats just how it works. I understand it can be scary because, what if she doesn't choose you? 7 years down the drain, right? But that's STILL better than dragging it all out. That will only maximize the pain for everyone involved. Just like taking off a bandaid, it's ALWAYS better to just get it over with.

She needs to make a choice. Does she want to be with you, or be a "strong independent women" although I don't see how your supporting her and caring for her is preventing that. Either way, she's the one who has to choose, and dragging things out does no one any favors.

0
1

[–] needingsomeadvice [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Part of the problem with that though is that she literally CAN'T move out right now. She doesn't have enough saved, and she won't take money from me for it, so we're in this kind of weird position right now where she can't do it even if that ends up being what she wants to do.

Regardless of the problems we're having right now, I'm not just going to kick her out. I actually don't even really have the right to do that - we're equal in terms of the lease. That's why my hope is that we can work on the relationship while she saves up for a month or two - then that way, if she decides to do it, at least we'll have the closure of having tried to work it out.

0
3

[–] BigFatDaddy 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Fair enough. Although, if she does want to end it, whether she can support herself afterwards or not isn't really your problem, is it? But still, there really isn't much wrong with taking a month or two, just to be able to say to yourself that you did things right on your end. Maintaining you self respect is vital. Like I keep saying though, don't let things drag on. If she actually wants to leave, but sticks aground just because she can't make rent, is that a situation you would want to be in? It's admirable to want to take care of your woman, but you need to look out for number 1 as well.