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[–] cthulian_axioms ago  (edited ago)

Whenever I get carded buying materials, I use a multi-pronged approach:

Step 1: Point to hair. "You ever seen a 17-year-old with this much gray?"

Step 2: If worker bee is younger than I am, begin asking musical questions that can only be answered by someone born in the 1980s or earlier. "What was the first single by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones?" "What was on the cover of Nirvana's album 'Nevermind'?" "What is your favorite Soundgarden album and why is it 'Superunknown'?"

(Pause)

"How would a 17-year-old even know how to ask those questions in the first place?"

(By this point, a supervisor has usually arrived; if I don't know them and they're about my age or older, I begin again from Step 1.)

Step 3: Take out attorney-registration "gold card", which contains my birthdate. Ask: "Since I'm almost double the minimum age to buy this stuff, I can take it home and get high off of it, right?"

Step 4: Gently admonish staff for being stupid. Encourage them to contact representatives and agitate for legalization of marijuana, so kids can fucking just get high on reefer and not have to resort to huffing spray paint.

I usually don't have to get beyond Step 2.5, since the supers at the hardware store in town know me as "[first name], the lawyer who went insane and is now a carpenter among other things"