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[–] anonOpenPress 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

You've got courage and character now, being so open, starting from so early age. That must have left scarves, I hope your psychiastrist was good and bighearted, able to really help. Memories of too bad are supposed to disappear, you only remember what you can handle, what doesn't break anything. Remembering even that much tells about great inner strenght, so you have all it takes to reach the balance again (if you didn't already). The most important is to not blame yourself, and if you feel questioning your parents anyhow talk it out to them. I handled one childhood issue a long time later with my mom, what a relief to speak that out. But nothing like you've experienced.

How many babysitters you remember? Do you remember anyone of them NOT being abusive?