"Hi, my name is ESOTERIC, and I'm a half ass shade tree Talmud scholar. This is part 1 of my introduction. This is part 2. Please keep in mind that my heart aches when I think about meth, so try not to bring it up around me."
"This place, Voat, is TOTALLY fucked, and I did EVERYTHING I could do to make voice heard above the rest with sock puppet accounts. I pulled out all the morality-based stops that HUMANS would have, because I'm a meth head Jew. You'll see, without JEWS, this place will dissolve!"
"I like talking myself up with my alt, @ridleychozo, and pretending as if he knows @DeathToMasosASAP isn't me. I try to mock legitimate users by claiming all they say is "nigger faggot kike shill", but it's obviously a joke because everyone laughs at me when I do it; I know this, but I continue to try to make that one stick, because I'm a JEW. Jews just don't have the capacity to understand why our lies don't work, so we just keep doubling down on the same tired cliches."
"Smart people will jump ship, and THIS is TOTALLY my LAST COMMENT... until it isn't! I'm going to blame @migratorypatterns' leaving on Q, because obviously the goyim leaving had NOTHING to do with me and my antics. Also, I'm TOTALLY 'moving to greener pastures' where I can sock puppet and not get caught like a Scooby-Doo villain."
"I came back... AGAIN on my main meth head username to respond to my alt, @PrepareForWar that I used to threaten the mods with. (see username - I am SO clever!)"
"Hey guize, my half ass shade tree Talmud scholar thing was TOTALLY a Sun Tzu ploy, (I am SO clever - this meth really does wonders for my head.) For this comment, my mod of choice is @Vindicator; for this comment I think he MEANS well, but is a sheep being led to the slaughter."
"My favorite fallacies are "tone fallacy" and "relative privation". I also like LARPing as being the nephew of a senator since it makes me sound important."
"I also like psychologically projecting my own faults onto others; like not getting enough sleep and doing meth. Did you all notice that direct accusations of meth use don't seem to work anymore? I wonder why that is."
"I often pretend that I am unperturbed by mentions of my loved one's meth addiction. I make up fanfiction for my enemies and attempt to make my narratives stick. It's t funny how I LARP as a senator's nephew, but CONSTANTLY attack Q for LARPing?"
"@think- now YOU are the smart one!. Also, I totally try to explain away my "shade tree" meaning "half ass" even though it would suggest that I called myself a "half ass half ass Talmud scholar". I finish this comment with other horseshit nobody cares about. Do you love me yet, meth-addled daddy?"
"I also think Orange Man Bad and I add Plato's allegory in to make myself looks smart. @think- you are now crazy, not smart. No longer my favorite mod! I randomly bash all goats and other users here, too, by saying they'll "Jew it up" when I, myself, am Jewish."
"Listen to old grampa ESOTERIC and I will show you the way, (of the Jew!) See, I can even attack people without links supporting my accusations, and pretending to hate Jews when my earliest comments were telling goats NOT to attack races like the Jews!"
"I don't care anymore, and I barely log in here anymore, but now you, @Blacksmith21, are my favorite Voat user! Watch me randomly mention winter and tell you like a good grampa ESOTERIC to get a coat. Totally not gay of me, though!"
"Here I am, thirteen days ago trying to act out my "Grampa PizzaGate" persona to @darkknight111. Listen to me, goy! I know what's best for you!"
"I like talking about putting muddy boots on my coffee table, because it makes me feel more like a human, you know, like those Zuckerberg memes! Also, my sister is sadly back in rehab with her meth addiction. It's SO sad, but I'll keep acting like CRENSCH has the meth problem because it makes me think that people won't believe I have a meth addict in the family ."
"I like to accuse others of scaring off good users, because it TOTALLY wasn't already proved that I did exactly that, constantly. I don't like the fact that the mods don't take my alt accounts seriously when they push the same narrative I was pushing!"
"I admit to going to rehab from my own meth addiction. If only my mother would go back to rehab, maybe she could become human instead of something that kinda looks like a human that just needs to DIE."
"Applaud me more, goyim, for running off good users here! I saved the children from being rescued from their rapists! Don't applaud me, I don't want your applause... seriously... don't applaud... not even a little... anyone? Anyone? NOTICE ME, SENPAI."