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[–] odplocki 2 points -1 points (+1|-2) ago  (edited ago)

You imagined me all wrong. I'm perfectly OK with almost every life choice, and that's why I don't feel any restrain to coment on my thoughts about something. I don't do it because of some patriarhical/religious inhereted views. I hate those views.

Even if you don't want children, freeze some sperm and eggs just as backup. Maybe it's just me but changing attitudes towards something is only human.

If you don't want kids, you sure must not have kids. That's perfectly alright with me.

The shitty world argument is bullshit, thats like not giving some begging person change because he would spend it on booze. It;s for your own good. You shouldn't use that, it presents you like youre not sure about tour stance on the subject in matter.

The pressure is always present. Everyone has pressure put on him. If you think you have pressure about kids, have a kid and you'll see what pressure really looks like.

I agree with your last paragraph, but I want to add that if you are sure about your chice, you shouldn't be touchy at all when someone tells you how nice it is to have kids. Let me explain myself a little better with an analogy. You have a relative who you feel very warmly for, and he/she has some kind of celebration or a jubelee, and you buy him a car. You didn't know he was against cars and made decision never to drive one. He is very offended and tells you" fuck you , how can you by me a car with all this pollution and global warming and the polar bears, didn't you know I walk everywhere now" or something like that. I mean It's a nice thing,

Maybe not everyone wants kids, but eceryone who had kids, wants grandkids(TM me),Even it it is pressure, it comes in most cases from people who love you.That was my "drift" with my comment before.

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[–] sumguy 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Makes sense and I understand that perspective.

Speaking on perspective, just because You don't think the world is a shitty place doesn't mean it's an invalid perspective from someone else. That's setting yourself up to invalidate Everything you enjoy that someone else might not. :)

I'm not touchy about people who want kids, I get touchy when people go all preachy/holier-than-thou about it (be vocal about child-free by choice and this attitude comes out of the woodwork, more even than being open about atheist views while living in the bible belt). I'm a bit touchy about the Substantial preferential treatment that breeders are given as well, though employers are doing a better job of that these days, limiting the generous handouts just because someone got themselves impregnated.

But folks who want to have kids, can Afford to pay for them without causing a burden on taxpayers, go for it! I know it's important to people, I don't know why, but I don't need to know why either. Unfortunately I currently live in a Very poor area of the country. Kids are commodity, how to get more $$$ on the monthly checks. It's often uneducated children who are having them in the first place though I opt for the phrase "Adults with children" vs "parents" because they aren't doing any parenting. It's majorly depressing... and I cringe that I have neblings who will have to grow up and interact with these other children. Doesn't matter how good of a job my in-laws (wife's siblings and their spouses) do with parenting their kids, the others out there drag down the whole bunch.

sigh Such a depressing topic for me.

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[–] odplocki ago  (edited ago)

Me and my wife were in relationship for 12 years before we decided to have one. So I too traveled the path of that kind of pressure, but now having a daughter, , I can't put it with words. It';s like discovering some kind of a drug , "man you've got to try this" .

People who are snarky and preachy about having kids, will continue to be that way even after you have them. They will be all preachy about their particular way of raising them, , so that pressure will stay.

I still don't think the bad world argument is valid, and while that stuff about poor areas is true, it vaporizes because we already established that having kids should be an individual choice.

Man youve got to ttry it, it's like discovering another universe. Best drug ever.