Archived 100 Women 2015: Desperate not to have children - BBC News (bbc.com)
submitted ago by ratsmack
Posted by: ratsmack
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Archived on: 2/12/2017 1:51:00 AM
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Archived 100 Women 2015: Desperate not to have children - BBC News (bbc.com)
submitted ago by ratsmack
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[–] sumguy 7 points 1 point 8 points (+8|-7) ago
Then they wouldn't be here. Your point?
You don't understand, and that's okay. If you're asking questions TO understand, that's good.. if you're making quips because it's just different and you can't imagine being "like that", then fuck you.
I'm child-free by choice, wife and I discussed that at length before getting married. I knew from my early teenage years that I NEVER wanted kids. This is a shit world, I'd never wish it upon another creature, be that human, dog or rat. Call me selfish, I am not the one who Must pass on my own genes, narcissism out of control right there. There are too many unwanted kids already on the planet, adopt/foster one (or more) of them.
There would have been no loss if my parents opted not to cave in to the pressure from Their parents (and they did cave to pressure). But hypothetical doesn't matter, in the least.
Someone doesn't want to have kids SHOULD be on the same level as "I don't smoke" or "I'm a vegetarian" ~ a personal life choice that has ZERO bearing on anyone else. Reply with "that's cool" and fucking move on already.
[–] ShinyVoater 2 points 3 points 5 points (+5|-2) ago
I see a lot of people give that as a reason for refusing to have kids, but they almost never adopt any to make the world a little less shitty. This is just an excuse.
[–] sumguy 1 point 0 points 1 point (+1|-1) ago
Do you speed? What reason do you make for that criminal action? Isn't that reason just an "excuse"?
This is a shit world, I'd never wish it on another creature. Oh, and I also don't want kids because I don't like the little buggers, my tolerance level is very low for them. Do you think someone with a short temper/low tolerance towards the buggers ought to adopt? I could probably afford to keep one alive, maybe... should I jeopardize my own survival for another? Or do you think that Every adult is obligated to adopt if they don't breed? There are an awful lot of dogs/cats that are put down every year, just because I like dogs, does that mean that those who don't have them should be adopting them?
Keep your biases. You think something is an excuse, so it IS an excuse.. to you. So be it, words on a screen aren't going to change that. Every single action we take in life is based on an excuse. You speed because everyone else does? excuse. You want kids because you like them? excuse. Every answer to a "Why" question is just an excuse to someone else.
[–] odplocki 2 points -1 points 1 point (+1|-2) ago (edited ago)
You imagined me all wrong. I'm perfectly OK with almost every life choice, and that's why I don't feel any restrain to coment on my thoughts about something. I don't do it because of some patriarhical/religious inhereted views. I hate those views.
Even if you don't want children, freeze some sperm and eggs just as backup. Maybe it's just me but changing attitudes towards something is only human.
If you don't want kids, you sure must not have kids. That's perfectly alright with me.
The shitty world argument is bullshit, thats like not giving some begging person change because he would spend it on booze. It;s for your own good. You shouldn't use that, it presents you like youre not sure about tour stance on the subject in matter.
The pressure is always present. Everyone has pressure put on him. If you think you have pressure about kids, have a kid and you'll see what pressure really looks like.
I agree with your last paragraph, but I want to add that if you are sure about your chice, you shouldn't be touchy at all when someone tells you how nice it is to have kids. Let me explain myself a little better with an analogy. You have a relative who you feel very warmly for, and he/she has some kind of celebration or a jubelee, and you buy him a car. You didn't know he was against cars and made decision never to drive one. He is very offended and tells you" fuck you , how can you by me a car with all this pollution and global warming and the polar bears, didn't you know I walk everywhere now" or something like that. I mean It's a nice thing,
Maybe not everyone wants kids, but eceryone who had kids, wants grandkids(TM me),Even it it is pressure, it comes in most cases from people who love you.That was my "drift" with my comment before.
[–] sumguy 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Makes sense and I understand that perspective.
Speaking on perspective, just because You don't think the world is a shitty place doesn't mean it's an invalid perspective from someone else. That's setting yourself up to invalidate Everything you enjoy that someone else might not. :)
I'm not touchy about people who want kids, I get touchy when people go all preachy/holier-than-thou about it (be vocal about child-free by choice and this attitude comes out of the woodwork, more even than being open about atheist views while living in the bible belt). I'm a bit touchy about the Substantial preferential treatment that breeders are given as well, though employers are doing a better job of that these days, limiting the generous handouts just because someone got themselves impregnated.
But folks who want to have kids, can Afford to pay for them without causing a burden on taxpayers, go for it! I know it's important to people, I don't know why, but I don't need to know why either. Unfortunately I currently live in a Very poor area of the country. Kids are commodity, how to get more $$$ on the monthly checks. It's often uneducated children who are having them in the first place though I opt for the phrase "Adults with children" vs "parents" because they aren't doing any parenting. It's majorly depressing... and I cringe that I have neblings who will have to grow up and interact with these other children. Doesn't matter how good of a job my in-laws (wife's siblings and their spouses) do with parenting their kids, the others out there drag down the whole bunch.
sigh Such a depressing topic for me.