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[–] 0iamlordeyayaya0 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Wait, is this The Onion or not?

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[–] 1747190? 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I thought the same thing at first...

But Onion articles are not as poorly written as this one.

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[–] Paranoidroid [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Not even. I saw a click-batey link on twitter for the TV station that posted this story. It was supposed to be a bizarre update to the story, but the only thing that's bizarre is that the SFPD took so many months to determine the victim was murdered.