Archived Body found hacked up inside suitcase, police suspect murder (kron4.com)
submitted ago by Paranoidroid
Posted by: Paranoidroid
Posting time: 5.3 years ago on
Last edit time: never edited.
Archived on: 2/12/2017 1:51:00 AM
Views: 1517
SCP: 37
37 upvotes, 0 downvotes (100% upvoted it)
Archived Body found hacked up inside suitcase, police suspect murder (kron4.com)
submitted ago by Paranoidroid
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[–] miistahmojo 0 points 51 points 51 points (+51|-0) ago
I think it's safe to say that this suitcase...
•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
...just became a murder case.
[–] coldacid 0 points 11 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[–] bisaya 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Alright, alright! Here's your up-vote you wise-ass!
[–] Agitprop 0 points 20 points 20 points (+20|-0) ago
No shit, he didn't stuff himself in a suitcase. I suspect foul play as well.
[–] torky 0 points 15 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago
Well there was that MI5 agent who was found stuffed inside a suitcase in a bathtub and the metro police ruled it as suicide. I doubt it was
[–] Agitprop 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
No that was "unnatural and likely to have been criminally mediated." Let's not point fingers /s.
Holy shit that was a weird article. Also, I'm going to try and lock myself into a bag next chance I get.
[–] Argumentative ago
Aww i came here to post this lol beat me to it, well done xD
[–] MedicalMountainGoat 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
First he chopped himself up though. Don't forget.
[–] 0iamlordeyayaya0 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
Wait, is this The Onion or not?
[–] 1747190? 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
I thought the same thing at first...
But Onion articles are not as poorly written as this one.
[–] Paranoidroid [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Not even. I saw a click-batey link on twitter for the TV station that posted this story. It was supposed to be a bizarre update to the story, but the only thing that's bizarre is that the SFPD took so many months to determine the victim was murdered.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago (edited ago)
[–] leweb 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
It's a case of suicide by Rube Goldberg machine.
[–] Paranoidroid [S] 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago (edited ago)
The poor guy could still be alive if they'd just not opened the suitcase.
Oh no, that's the cat one.
[–] curtygriff 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
I don't know... I think it could be suicide.
[–] Tsugumori 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Anyone else think that this part is more interesting than a poorly worded title? Like... what the fuck.
[–] HighfalutinNakabear 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Yeah that was just kind of thrown in there at the end wtf? He admitted himself...and then died. Alright then.
[–] Tsugumori 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Admitted himself... right after being released from police custody... and then died. Kinda makes you get the feeling you might not have the whole story.
[–] Donbuster 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
"Suspect" murder...
Yes, in the same way that one might suspect the dog if a trashcan is knocked over whilst no one is home, and various bits are chewed on....
[–] Paranoidroid [S] 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
"By jove, Holmes! How did you know?"
"Elementary, my dear Watson!"
[–] PM_NICE_BREASTS 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I was going to reassemble him later....