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[–] whitesilk ago 

There are special tools for land whales too fat to reach their ass.

https://www.amazo DOT com/Freedomwand-Personal-Hygiene-Bathroom-Toilet/dp/B003DQU8P0

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[–] ConcreteGaloshes ago 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

It's a selfie stick for a fat ass!

For some reason, I am reminded of the fall of the Roman empire.