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[–] FuckYouReddit- 0 points 29 points (+29|-0) ago 

Hell the hot chicks in the crowds are the only thing interesting about FIFA.

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[–] Mr_Quagmire 0 points 18 points (+18|-0) ago 

FIFA's Head of Sustainability and Diversity...

of course

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[–] voatuser1128 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Its probably some fat whale of a "woman".

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[–] Mr_Quagmire 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

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[–] SnatchGladiator 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago 

Just put all the women in Burqa’s, problem solved.

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[–] Phuc_Dat_Bich 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

The next WC is in Qatar...

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[–] HeavyBrain 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

And it will be like the women chees championship in Iran.

So the opposite of Russia.

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[–] weezkitty 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Perhaps whining by the muslims has something to do with it?

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[–] JonReed 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

problem solved indeed

[–] [deleted] 3 points 10 points (+13|-3) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] HeavyBrain 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

That may be but atleast its not 15 mins of play and 90 of commercials.

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[–] BlackSheepBrouhaha 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Crowd murmers

First Announcer

Playeroski with the macguffin moves up the court. He's up against some men who DO NOT want him to score.

Second announcer

That's right, Dick. I've watched this game for more hours than it took to invent calculus and all I have to show for it is some irrelevant context about recent player drafts and injuries.

Crowd coos, boos, and cheers accordingly with each move of the macguffin.

First announcer

On defense, they're looking to take that macguffin. If they let Playeroski put it in the box, they'll spend the season eating bon-bons on the couch watching from home.

Second announcer

That's right, Dick. The losers of the game are powerless to affect change in the game. They're forced to sit on the sidelines and recognize their own failures led to a life spent observing greatness rather than live in it.

Crowd. Goes. Wild.

Both announcers

GOAAAAL

WE CAN'T BELIEVE IT. THE OBJECTIVE OF THE GAME WAS TO PUT THE MACGUFFIN IN THE BOX AND PLAYEROSKI'S DONE IT. LET'S WATCH THAT 6 TIMES IN SLOW MOTION FROM 4 ANGLES AND REPLAY IT AFTER EVERY COMMERCIAL. SPEAKING OF WHICH:

Commercial

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First announcer

And we're back. Let's have a look at that replay again.

Second announcer

While we're watching this replay, the game slouches on in a monotonous fashion. Unending cheering showing optimism and despair at levels far beyond what any grown man will show at the birth or death of his child.

First announcer

But who cares about your real life when there's macguffin to box?

Second Announcer

That's right, Dick. Life is an experience conjured in the handshake between reality and our perception. When hedonistic experience becomes the catharsis of daily living, we're free to let the world around us atrophy in proportion to the satisfaction we derive from our escape, just as rest makes a weary man strong enough to work tommorow but a man pushed to exhaustion will revolt before his dying breath. And now another word from our sponsors.


All in good fun, lads. Anything can be deconstructed to look bleak. Observations tell more about the observer than reality. I'm biased toward the bizarre comedy of death as relief, a kind of irony so untrue and opposite its depression becomes hilarity. In other words, funny and sad.

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[–] Atomized_Individual 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Curling or golf

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[–] Pawn 1 points 1 points (+2|-1) ago 

More exciting than the nigger felon league.

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[–] voatuser1128 2 points 0 points (+2|-2) ago 

Still more exciting than baseball.

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[–] voats4goats 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

The only sport that people seem to want to leave early

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[–] YamaMaya 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Are they saying women shouldn't go to football matches? But isnt that....sexist?!

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[–] juicedidwtc 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

no just the hot ones. fat blue haired dykes are still welcome. its only sexist when it's against the fat and ugly ones, because those are the only ones who bitch about sexism

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[–] newoldwave 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

FIFA homos

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[–] slevin_kelevra 1 points 6 points (+7|-1) ago 

Might be the only thing worth watching for. Now I will never watch FIFA.

[–] [deleted] 1 points 4 points (+5|-1) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] Pawn 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

The US team didn't qualify for fifa, so ignoring a sporting event we didnt qualify for is probably for the best.

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[–] HeavyBrain 1 points 2 points (+3|-1) ago 

And football don't forget to ignore the Negro felon Leauge.

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[–] weezkitty 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Technically FIFA is international and the US has even hosted the world cup before.

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