[–] Deplorablepoetry 2 points 0 points (+2|-2) ago  (edited ago)

Who wants a story? No one? Too bad.

Three hours ago it was three in the morning, I was doing my job picking up garbage. I filled my small bin with litter then went to empty it in a large bin, the kind that those huge trucks pick up and empty.

I shook all the trash out, then suddenly something moved in the garbage bin. Holy fuck! What the fuck?

There was a dude sleeping in the garbage bin, I had dumped trash on his head and woke him up...., startled, I yelped “WHAT THE FUCK?”

Retard in the garbage bin began standing then said “sorry, what time is it? Five or six or?”

I gotta stop and explain that this particular garbage bin is a real problem because it contains pizza that the restaurant throws out. It is frequented by transients who can almost always find something to eat, hence why goldilocks decided to climb in, have a meal and a nap.

So these people piss me off constantly, I’m not a fucking social worker....

Anyway, I said to fuckstain reject “you got about ten seconds to fuck off before I call someone to collect you”.

Shit-for-brains replied as he climbed out of the bin “okay okay, but can you tell me what time it is?”

I lost my shit. It’s the middle of the night, super quiet...., “TIME FOR YOU TO GET FUCKING GONE YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!”

piece of shit.....piece of shit.....piece of shit echoed off of the surrounding buildings as Einstein stumbled away...

Not fast enough for my liking so I encouraged his haste “RUN BITCH!” I said. He didn’t run, he stumbled into a wall, bounced off and then disappeared around a corner.

I called 911. If the truck had come to empty that bin, dude would have gone for one hell of a ride and possibly died.

911 didn’t give two fucks, neither do I.

Good morning Voat!