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[–] 17689232? 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

She says he doesn’t put any effort into stuff. I asked what does that mean? And she told me that she’s frustrated that he doesn’t make plans for her like surprise birthdays or Holliday’s like she does because she is a planner

That's because he's a man. Men don't tend to do this kind of thing unless specifically told it's important.

My friend looks up to me and I feel like I haven’t lead her down a good path

You have a responsibility as a friend now to do the right thing which is to not support her behavior. She needs to be told in no uncertain terms that she needs to pack her bags and go home and make a go of her marriage. She's acting like a child and you can't stand by and watch and support that. If it were me and she continued down this path, I'd end the friendship.