I need some place to talk about this. I don’t think anyone in my life will really get what I feel about all this except you all. So I’ve had this female friend who I’ve been kinda internet pen pals with for about 8 years now. She’s a couple years younger than me and we’ve just been good friends.
Now, when she was in college she met a guy and they dated all the time they went to school and then after they graduated last year they got married. I was the ‘man of honor’ since my friend chose me over any of her female friends to be that for her wedding. It was great. I was really happy for them and I dunno but I was kinda happy to see something so wholesome. Like these two dating only each other in college and graduating and getting married and starting a life in their early twenties. They had everything going for them.
And it was really nice to see someone from my culture, young white people, look like they’re gonna make it. Everyone else my age is deep in the degeneracy with no signs of slowing down.
I was catching up with her on the phone a month ago and lo and behold, she tells me she wants a divorce. 8 months into her marriage and she wants a divorce. EIGHT! Not even a year. And on top of that they had only spent about three months in person with each other. Why? Because she’s off doing this year long volunteer service program which, I feel guilty because I told her to do it. I did it when I was her age, it was a great experience and informed a lot of who I am today and really really is a good opportunity to see the world (and the bad side of it too). But I wasn’t married. I was a young single man, not a recently married young woman.
And there’s a couple things in this picture that just don’t sit right with me and that I think only you all would really get.
First off, what she told me her grievances are. She says he doesn’t put any effort into stuff. I asked what does that mean? And she told me that she’s frustrated that he doesn’t make plans for her like surprise birthdays or Holliday’s like she does because she is a planner. She’s the kind of person who plans to the last detail. And that’s not who he is. Mind you this guy got a full time salary job right out of college and has talked about how and when they’ll financially be able to afford a house, more things in their lives, cars. But she’s frustrated to the point of divorce because he doesn’t plan her stuff like she does.
Second, while she’s away doing what she wanted for a year, he’s been back home working, missing his new wife terribly. Then she goes and tells him hey I wanna divorce unless you step up your attention to me. He tries but that’s just not him and so a few months go by and she’s all but given him the papers.
And then too, her husband. Like I got some sympathy for the guy but he’s just a weeny. Who the hell says, yeah my new wife, go away for a year after three months of being married. He wanted to be supportive of her getting out in the world and finding adventure. Oh she wanted him to do everything that she does for him for her? Absolutely He’ll step up. Oh she wants a divorce? He says she’s the most important thing in his life and sorry it took him so long to realize it. All this from an “everything’s chill” laid back scrawny buddy holly lookin hipster who has wedding photos of him playing video games before the ceremony. If he’d had put his foot down at ALL during any of this, he’d still have a wife but he let that piss right through his fingers.
And so what we have now is a failed marriage, my friend who wants to spend another year in this program “not tied down to anyone” (read that as you will), a wimpy pencil dick guy who doesn’t seem to have learned a thing from any of this, and no family, built on solid financial and family ties and no future built.
And there’s a part of me that’s upset at the world about this and a part of me that can’t help but feel responsible somewhat. My friend looks up to me and I feel like I haven’t lead her down a good path. She’s been with me in support when I did a lot of young adventurous things and through a lot of this I encouraged her to pursue similar things. But she’s not me and I should have been more cautious about that. And then I’m mad at the world, I’m mad that so much of my own life is surrounded by poor choices and degenerate behavior. I’m mad that her husband is such a weak man. And I’m mad that there’s no thought in my friend’s mind about wanting to make a life with a person who they promised to god and the world that they would have each other through it all.
And I don’t have any way of getting that off my chest except to you all. Thanks.
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[–] albatrosv15 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago (edited ago)
@OP --> 1. and 5.