I need some place to talk about this. I don’t think anyone in my life will really get what I feel about all this except you all. So I’ve had this female friend who I’ve been kinda internet pen pals with for about 8 years now. She’s a couple years younger than me and we’ve just been good friends.
Now, when she was in college she met a guy and they dated all the time they went to school and then after they graduated last year they got married. I was the ‘man of honor’ since my friend chose me over any of her female friends to be that for her wedding. It was great. I was really happy for them and I dunno but I was kinda happy to see something so wholesome. Like these two dating only each other in college and graduating and getting married and starting a life in their early twenties. They had everything going for them.
And it was really nice to see someone from my culture, young white people, look like they’re gonna make it. Everyone else my age is deep in the degeneracy with no signs of slowing down.
I was catching up with her on the phone a month ago and lo and behold, she tells me she wants a divorce. 8 months into her marriage and she wants a divorce. EIGHT! Not even a year. And on top of that they had only spent about three months in person with each other. Why? Because she’s off doing this year long volunteer service program which, I feel guilty because I told her to do it. I did it when I was her age, it was a great experience and informed a lot of who I am today and really really is a good opportunity to see the world (and the bad side of it too). But I wasn’t married. I was a young single man, not a recently married young woman.
And there’s a couple things in this picture that just don’t sit right with me and that I think only you all would really get.
First off, what she told me her grievances are. She says he doesn’t put any effort into stuff. I asked what does that mean? And she told me that she’s frustrated that he doesn’t make plans for her like surprise birthdays or Holliday’s like she does because she is a planner. She’s the kind of person who plans to the last detail. And that’s not who he is. Mind you this guy got a full time salary job right out of college and has talked about how and when they’ll financially be able to afford a house, more things in their lives, cars. But she’s frustrated to the point of divorce because he doesn’t plan her stuff like she does.
Second, while she’s away doing what she wanted for a year, he’s been back home working, missing his new wife terribly. Then she goes and tells him hey I wanna divorce unless you step up your attention to me. He tries but that’s just not him and so a few months go by and she’s all but given him the papers.
And then too, her husband. Like I got some sympathy for the guy but he’s just a weeny. Who the hell says, yeah my new wife, go away for a year after three months of being married. He wanted to be supportive of her getting out in the world and finding adventure. Oh she wanted him to do everything that she does for him for her? Absolutely He’ll step up. Oh she wants a divorce? He says she’s the most important thing in his life and sorry it took him so long to realize it. All this from an “everything’s chill” laid back scrawny buddy holly lookin hipster who has wedding photos of him playing video games before the ceremony. If he’d had put his foot down at ALL during any of this, he’d still have a wife but he let that piss right through his fingers.
And so what we have now is a failed marriage, my friend who wants to spend another year in this program “not tied down to anyone” (read that as you will), a wimpy pencil dick guy who doesn’t seem to have learned a thing from any of this, and no family, built on solid financial and family ties and no future built.
And there’s a part of me that’s upset at the world about this and a part of me that can’t help but feel responsible somewhat. My friend looks up to me and I feel like I haven’t lead her down a good path. She’s been with me in support when I did a lot of young adventurous things and through a lot of this I encouraged her to pursue similar things. But she’s not me and I should have been more cautious about that. And then I’m mad at the world, I’m mad that so much of my own life is surrounded by poor choices and degenerate behavior. I’m mad that her husband is such a weak man. And I’m mad that there’s no thought in my friend’s mind about wanting to make a life with a person who they promised to god and the world that they would have each other through it all.
And I don’t have any way of getting that off my chest except to you all. Thanks.
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[–] [deleted] 0 points 35 points 35 points (+35|-0) ago
[–] Trasheconomy [S] 1 point 1 point 2 points (+2|-1) ago (edited ago)
I agree but how to you communicate that in a less autistic way?
[–] [deleted] 0 points 12 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago
[–] [deleted] 0 points 29 points 29 points (+29|-0) ago
[–] Native 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
There’s already a lot of good advice in the comments, it doesn’t seem like @ Trasheconomy is going to take any of it, my impression is that he is just as bad as the husband and is in the bubble so he can’t see how sad his life is. Why would you feel responsible for someone else’s decision? I was asked to be a man of honor to my friend I knew from the age of 6 and I turned it down because he was marrying an over weight feminist who was on bi-polar medication and I couldn’t support that marriage.
That’s not the point in any of this, OP is wasting his energy on someone who doesn’t actually value his advice, just like he doesn’t value the advice in this comment thread and only selectively replied to a couple people.
And I’m not trying to be mean @Trasheconomy what strikes me is that you are attracted to this woman and fantasized about being with her. That’s all this is. You aren’t looking for advice, you are looking for points to sage your subvonscious.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
[–] Trasheconomy [S] 1 point 2 points 3 points (+3|-1) ago (edited ago)
Shit nigger, how am I supposed to reply to everyone at the same time haha. Sorry some of us have jobs n sheeit. You’re right, there is a lot of good advice in this thread but there’s a disconnect between knowing what’s right and how to practically apply that to the situation in real life. I mean you all are full of the same shit and I know that shit is good shit but calm your tits when I don’t immediately say I calmly destroyed her with facts and logic in 4 minutes. Jesus XD
[–] Trasheconomy [S] ago
Wow, what’s wrong with being her best person in her wedding? I see what you mean about cucking her husband and come to think of it that’s kinda funny but I fail to see how this is a dig at myself.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago
[–] BrapHogApologist 0 points 28 points 28 points (+28|-0) ago
Good luck
[–] albatrosv15 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago (edited ago)
@OP --> 1. and 5.
[–] Trasheconomy [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Yeah I didn’t really factor this much but from what she’s told me this all but confirmed. And if not completely physical (which I could see her avoiding mentioning to me to come off as less of a fucking whore) then absolutely emotionally to someone else.
Maybe when I first met her way back in high school I had the “this is a girl who will talk to me” kinda crush but very soon after that she’s been off my romantic radar. I have had several girlfriends and a two year one I’m with now who I am very happy with.
As for the rest I really appreciate the advice and it’s something I wanna take with me but this whole deal is kinda said and gone. Also, I mentioned elsewhere in this thread it’s not really my problem to fix. Like I don’t have any plans on fucking her and the husband I could care less about I only know him because of her. It’s more like, I wanted to share a personal story that’s just- TOO real from all the shit we see elsewhere in society. But thanks for the comment I really do appreciate it.
[–] Momo_Applebach 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Eh, it's not your fault. It's a combination of bad factors. She's a big enough idiot to go off volunteering for a year when she's just gotten married. She's a big enough idiot to use that as an excuse to cheat when she just got married. Her husband is a big enough idiot to not put his foot down about any of this.
Sure, it wasn't the best suggestion to make, but I get bad advice from my friends all the time and I fucking ignore it lmao.
[–] CameraCode 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
This is a terrible attitude to have. She is your friend, right? Don't you care about your friends? You don't have to save the marriage (that may already be dead), but you have an obligation to get your friend on a better path. She is going to be a divorced woman who spends her time doing volunteer service programs and "looking for adventure". She is going to die bitter and alone without a husband or children if she keeps this up. Are you upset with the state of the clown world? This is your opportunity to fix it. None of us can stand idlely by.
Maybe read some of Empress' stuff or ask her for advice as well, she has good advice for women.
[–] WORF_MOTORBOATS_TROI 0 points 19 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago (edited ago)
I stopped reading there. She's either already cheating on him or she wants to cheat on him and saying she wants a divorce will free her up to do so.
[–] BackdoorSluts8 3 points 16 points 19 points (+19|-3) ago (edited ago)
Why would you listen to a girl bitch about her life when you're not even doing her? Don't you have better things to do with your life? Jesus bro have some respect for yourself. I barely skimmed your frivolous wall of text - no one here gives a shit about any of this shit, and you probably shouldn't either.
[–] albatrosv15 1 point 7 points 8 points (+8|-1) ago
So, fellow comrade, what did you do before joining voat 4.5 hours ago?
[–] BackdoorSluts8 3 points 1 point 4 points (+4|-3) ago (edited ago)
mostly OP's mom
[–] Battlefat 1 point 5 points 6 points (+6|-1) ago
It’s interesting that OP compelled you enough to stand up for what you believe and say something here after just having lurked enough to say the right thing. I’d say lurk more but you seem to have strong opinions, unless you’re an alt, then why are you so gay, otherwise welcome to VOAT you curious faggot
[–] BackdoorSluts8 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago (edited ago)
Probably because he reminded me of the time I myself spent as an emotional tampon. Plus someone needed to call OP a colossal faggot for his "need to vent" and the time he wasted typing this shit out.
Appreciate the welcome, you guys are just one big faggy family aren't you?
[–] Crinkus 1 point -1 points 0 points (+0|-1) ago
Nah he's right, men should never allow women to talk to them about relationship issues
[–] 17685523? 5 points 0 points 5 points (+5|-5) ago (edited ago)
Sometimes, people have other people in their lives about whom they care. They are called friends, and they matter to some people. This guy is concerned with his friends, world and community, so fuck off with your kike porn name and your faggot ass attitude.
[–] [deleted] 1 point 10 points 11 points (+11|-1) ago
[–] 17686672? 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
I don't agree with this, i had a couple female friends with which i had a very good uninterested friendship and were important people to me
[–] Native 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Fat female friends.
Men can’t be friends with attractive women who are in their prime
[–] Trasheconomy [S] 3 points -2 points 1 point (+1|-3) ago
Thank you, Jesus it’s like people in this thread are allergic to em
[–] Soyboy69 ago
To keep an eye on her and try to mold her into the perfect wife while you're waiting for her to come of age? Not saying go after a creepily young girl but no reason not to go after some teen girls you find and try to keep them on the right path while you wait for them to reach the excessively late age of consent.
[–] antistatist 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago
Tell her you were wrong to encourage her to go on the volunteer program, then tell her she can't do any better than her weeny husband, and that if she get's a divorce she will become a cool wine aunt and never have children and ultimately be eaten by cats. If she looks up to you like you say, this will hit her ego hard and put her in her place.
[–] CodyCigar_1800 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
Women can never say that they want to dominated directly so she is saying is subtly. When she complains that some bitchy trivial demand she made to her husband wasn't met, she is really her saying that she can complain about anything and her pussy husband won't take charge and tell her to shut her mouth. With the mind virus feminism attacking the sensibilities of Western women's brains men need to more assertive than ever with their women
[–] Trasheconomy [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Yeah so I just talked to her the other day and she basically said, verbatim, ‘he doesn’t stand up for himself or call me out or tell me no’. Yeeeesh