israel sold bombs to south africa, hoping that they'll use them to kill white people,
israel sells them precision bio weapons too just in case the bombs don't do the job.
much to the jews' shock, the africans use the bombs to blow up israel instead and the bioweapons to kill all jews everywhere, after africans are crippled with debts from multinational banks.
the jews, not willing to go out without a fight, launch their own bombs and bioweapons at ALL of africa.
after the bomb/disease wipes out all human life in africa and the middle east and people elsewhere with the same genes as them, the survivors are shaken. it's global mental crisis. people can't cope with the shock. they begin to seek guidance from above.
and so do you.
you walk aimlessly through the streets of new york city on a sunday and see a church building.
you walk inside and are instantly greeted.
greeter: hello, welcome to foot locker! is there any way I can help you today? we have a sale on reeboks.
you: oh i was hoping to find a church... where i could sit and listen..
greeter: oh, like an old fashion church service? that hasn't happened here in ages. but you know i think there's one at the off-broadway theater down the street.
so you go.
you sit down in a sparsely filled auditorium as the service starts.
pastor: welcome to fag church! before we begin, you should know that we're not like those other churches with their stuffy traditions. we're a COOL church. and we welcome whatever lifestyle you want, baby! you do YOU, boo! heehee. rawr!
once the service is over, you leave the church no more inspired than when you came in.
so you go to a bookstore and find a copy of the bible, the last artifact of the jewish people. a race now wiped from existence.
you know nothing about it.
so you just open it up.
you pray to god: "god, i know we've never spoken before, but please guide my hands. let me turn to a verse that will help me in this troubling time."
you point to a random verse. it turns out to be ezekiel 23:20
"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."
The verse does nothing for you, so in your disappointment, you put the bible back on to the shelf.
your journey to find peace of mind has gotten you nowhere.
but at this point, america is no longer sending trillions of dollars to israel every year and not giving money to blacks either.
so what happens?
it's a gold rush. everyone instantly becomes rich. including you.
you feel guilty. it feels awful to profit from the deaths of others.
so you go on a spending spree to make yourself feel better.
you buy ferraris, jet skis, penis enlargement pills, soda-stream machines, and all the newest Apple products.
you indulge in nearly endless varieties of decadence.
but your decadence attracts thieves.
your penthouse apartment is broken into by a 1/16th black man who was thus only 1/16th affected by the bio weapons and is thus still able to somewhat function.
he breaks in while you're in your kitchen eating a box of Lucky Charms™ with Super Mario Bros™ shapes in it (in the cereal aisle of your local grocery store for a limited time only) because you'd a retarded asshole who eats disgusting dogshit like that.
you see him and you're driven into a panic.
you don't know what to do. you think back to your bible for wisdom, but all you read is that one verse.
so you whip out your dick and offer to have sex with the thief.
the thief sees your dick.
it has become so large from the penis enlargement pills you've been taking that it scares the thief. he runs. you're safe.
and so, it turns out that the verse in Ezekiel about the donkey dicks WAS the exact guidance you needed after all.
praise the lord.
thank you for reading.
ya know, we learned a lot of important lessons here today. about reading your bible.
but most importantly, we learned about the guidance of our heavenly father to bring meaning and joy into our lives.
if you'd like to accept jesus christ into your heart right now as your lord and personal saviour,
you can ask anyone commenting in this subverse to pray with you and we'd love to do so.
or, just click the "message the moderators" link in the sidebar of any subverse on the site.