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[–] Apollo821 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

A phrase I like to remind myself of when I want to absolutely strangle someone is "Everyone is the hero in their own life story"

Nobody is ever the bad guy in their own mind, so pointing out to them that they are is problematic, because they'll obviously become defensive. It takes a lot to get someone to realize they're actually the asshole.

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[–] VoatsNewfag 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

A phrase I like to remind myself of when I want to absolutely strangle someone is "Everyone is the hero in their own life story"

Nobody is ever the bad guy in their own mind

That's true for many people, perhaps even most people, but it's not true for everyone, the columbine shooters for example were to my knowledge not disillusioned about what they were doing but intentionally wanted to cause harm and suffering. That's an extreme case, but it happens regularly on a much smaller scale.

Now, I don't think it's fair to assume sinister intentions behind people, so instead I find it useful to figure out if there is an individual freedom that they argue against that should be widely accepted and then ask them if people should have that freedom. I'll give an example;

I've overheard a discussion in which a girl viciously condemned a friend because he said that he wanted to have a girlfriend who stays at home and does housework and he didn't seem to know how to react to that. So I asked her if a man should have the right to decide for himself with whom he wants to spent his life with, as that is the basic freedom she is arguing against. She was noticeably uncomfortable with that question and gave non-answers, so I kept repeating that question and she didn't even gave excuses or justifications, not even a "yes but..." or a "so you want them to have the right to marry 8 year olds", instead she always tried to change the topic.

Which to me suggests that she didn't want men to have the right to decide with whom they spent their lives with and that she was very well aware that this was not a noble position to take.

If you ask the right questions people can reveal very twisted beliefs.