hmm, i don't know how to start, but basically i've been thinkin about ending my life these days, i got worried so i posted this.
i think i don't know myself that much, im not grateful for the things i have , although i should be.
i think there's sth wrong with me, im messed up.
ever since i was kid, i was always that coward bullied little boy, who can't stand up to himself, doesn't speak up.
although im 17, i feel like I don't deserve to be at that age, cauz I put people that are older than me on the pedestal all the time and belittle myself in the process, which is kind of stupid and I don't know how to get rid of that thought.
Will I ever , like .... change ... in the future ?
is that possible ?