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[–] Plant_Boy ago  (edited ago)

Further to my comment, Story Time!

I used to suffer from depression. I exercised regularly ate properly and had awesome friends. But something always niggled at my mind that made me unhappy. I graduated with a shit bachelor's degree to pick up work as a shop clerk. I was upset with myself as I knew I had so much more potential.

I managed to pull together the resources with the help of my family and now I'm in the middle of studying a PhD. I'm greatly enjoying the challenges it provides and I am very aware of the habits that I sometimes need help with to break. (I set my router to cut off my link to the web otherwise I have a tendency to be online till the early hours of the morning, which is my worst habit.)

I never got help with my depression for the simple reason that I believed the sadness was a psychological condition that can't be treated by medicating or meditating. That was like trying to tape up a leak on a battleship. I had to look at the real problem and be frank with myself, that I wasn't satisfied with where I was and that I had so much more worth than I was giving. Retail work may work for some people but I saw it as a slow death, where some 40 years later I'd still be there.

The change wasn't easy, I had to quit my job, move in with my parents and start a new job in a new location, away from a lot of my good friends. That was step 1 for me. Step 2 was to get back into a position where someone would be confident in my ability to achieve, so I started a 1 year masters. Regardless of cost for me, knowledge is always a good investment. I managed to move withing my current job and it helped pay the bills as a part time job. It was tough but worth it to get to where I am now.

After graduating my masters I started to fall into the same old loop as before. I quickly realized this as the depression began to set in again. I had to quit the job and started looking for PhD's full time back at my parents house. I was given the option to transfer back to the previous store, of which I declined. I was not motivated to work there and working would also distract me from what I really wanted to go for. The PhD. So I quitted before even getting on the PhD.

I did feel some hurt towards my dignity in moving in with my parents again but it was for the greater good. The Greater Good. I eventually got a break and got onto an awesome project. I'm determined not to fuck up and to suck up ever bit of information and experience the university seeks to provide.

There has been a lot of moving away from good friends but I met new friends and now my list of good friends is much larger, more diverse. I'm really proud of a few of my new ones too for achievements they've made in their lives too!