[–] bambou1991 0 points 75 points (+75|-0) ago 

That is why I come to voat, useful and pertinent information for the inevitable chicken war.

[–] Alhambra 0 points 43 points (+43|-0) ago 

gas the hens, egg war now

[–] ThisIsMyRealName 1 points 13 points (+14|-1) ago 

No, gas the (((geese))). The hens are our fowl.

[–] OfficerJiggerbug2 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Should I make Stella maris luminarix an admin or shapeshift into a ... oh god this isn’t Kandahar

[–] prairie 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Hypothetically, that is.

[–] CrudOMatic 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

Hypnotizing your food source is a valuable skill for survival. Now we need to learn how to hypnotize some burgers and fries to go with these chicken nuggets.

[–] toobaditworks 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

[–] MJ1233 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

You’re right. And if things keep going they way they are, we will be growing our own food to survive in the not too distant future.

[–] SyriansFuckCorpses 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago  (edited ago)

We'll be ready. We won't get our asses kicked like @HateCumbuckets did during the emu war

[–] HateCumbuckets 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Look, you go toe to toe with one of those evil fuckers and let me know how you go.

Seriously, have been chased by a pissed off emu. Not cool.

[–] recon_johnny 0 points 33 points (+33|-0) ago 

Cock Magic.

[–] decimatetheweek 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

It was absolute carnage!

[–] ThisIsMyRealName 0 points 26 points (+26|-0) ago  (edited ago)

This is only one way of eliciting that reaction. One I used to to with the chickens we had was get it on its back, and with thumb and index fingers stroke its breastbone(?) on both sides of it for a couple of seconds. The chicken would just lay there on its back for a bit. I learned that from a book on chickens my parents bought me, and it blew me away when I tried it and it worked. It was good rural entertainment.

[–] godamn 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

I might be a goddamn chicken.

[–] MyDrunkAccount 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

Do you wake up screaming in the mornings?

[–] drstrangegov 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

I've known people this dumb.

[–] TheSeer 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

You replace the line with an iPhone, showing cat gifs on IMGUR?

[–] drstrangegov 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Yep

[–] AnotherRedditRefugee 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

"Is he gona peck me?" Great foreshadowing there.

[–] Karbuster 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

Lol the moment he erased the part of the line the chicken was looking at

[–] Zoldam 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

I have owned chickens for like 20 years now and have come across strange behavior (Not this specifically, but things like it).

[–] Gingercuntfirecrotch 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Like what? Please do share.

[–] Zoldam 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago 

Gay rooster, would try to fuck other males, would usually be beaten up after.

Hen that tried crowing, not a hen-looking rooster since she laid eggs in the past.

When it rains, chickens run inside or under something to get out of it, but I had one who stood in it and just stared up in to the sky during the shower and went back to normal after.

One that figured out how to undo hook locks (maybe not strange but certainly unusual).

Roosters will enter a trance depending on how you hold them (generally if you lean them to the side ~90+ degrees). This is useful if you have to deal with a violent one.

A rooster "playing dead" or that's what it looked like. It was on the ground and looked exactly like a dead (not the usual "sitting on the ground relaxing" look) one so I went to go get him and when grabbed he panicked and ran off, startled me.

[–] Goathole 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

yeah yeah, I used to "unhypnotize" with an axe. It was my job.

[–] MDEneverdies1488 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Do they run around with their head cut off if you hypnotize them first?

[–] Hand_of_Node 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Yes. It's only the head that's hypnotized.

[–] Goathole 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

yep. Bounce, bounce, run, jump, bounce, fall.

[–] TheSeer 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

The girl's chuckling "I don't know either" should have told the guy "Yes, it will f****in' peck you, if you erase the line!"

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