Names have been changed - blah-blah, blah
So I used to work in a group home for the mentally retarded. It was a duplex home, 3 residents on each side with one staff member and a third to float back and forth as needed.
One afternoon I'm sitting in the living room and one of the residents walks in wide-eyed, "I think I'm going to need help in the bathroom".
Oh-oh, I'm thinking the worse. Did he miss the toilet, do I have a mess to clean up?
I've already grabbed some gloves, we walk down the hall into the bathroom, Jimmy points at the bowel and there lies a turd as long and as wide as a good sized mechanic's forearm, no exaggeration.
I just stood there, in awe.
Jimmy breaks me from my daze, "What are we going to d..." I suggest we call a news crew.
He just laughs.
Instead I call "Taz", the guy who is floating between sides.
He comes over, I point towards that bathroom. He pops his head in the bathroom.
Immediately looks back at me but can't help himself to look again.
Taz managed to break turdzilla's hypnotic effect and immediately questions my motive, "Why... did you show this to me?!?!?!?"
He actually sounded hurt.
"IT'S ART!!!" I exclaimed. He heads for the door.
"ART I TELL YOOOUUUUU..." as he shuts it behind him obviously not the connoisseur of fecal arrangement that Jimmy and I have discovered we are.
"I tried to flush it but it's too big."
I replied, "Jimmy, if that thing came out of me, I would stuff it and mount it on my wall!"
"Ewwwwwww" he says through chuckles.
So I grabbed some bleach, poured a good cup into the commode while whistling Taps, and closed the lid... slowly.
Now I will admit to you dear reader, there was a moment, as the lid lowered that you ever so humble writer actually paused to get one last glimpse.
Then I recalled Neitieche's quote about gazing into the abyss and quickly closed the lid.