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/v/comedy
/v/jokes
/v/JobStories
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[–] DesolationRoad ago
If you are of good Northern European stock and without any amalgam tooth fillings I will give you 4 children, 12 grandchildren, 1 sister wife and 10 acres of land to raise horses and large raptors who will vigilantly guard our fortress.
[–] Gothamgirl ago
Well that's very sweet of you ❤
[–] DesolationRoad ago (edited ago)
I will adorn you and our daughters with a silver breastplate with a serpent emerging from the solar plexus. Our sons and I will wear silver crowns with matching serprents emergening from the forehead. The children will all be trained in Chinese kung-fu and Texas firearms strategery. Obviously the children will be home schooled by my self so they can learn the true history of world War 2 and pagan mysticism.