[–] [deleted] 0 points 30 points (+30|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

0
21

[–] GoodGodKirk [S] 0 points 21 points (+21|-0) ago 

That raccoon isn't going to stop until everything is clean

0
31

[–] Call_Me_Kelly 0 points 31 points (+31|-0) ago 

A coworker had a pet raccoon as a child.

His father was a park ranger in a heavily forested area and found the baby with his dead mother. Against regulations he took her home (they had a house inside the park) and raised her.

She was very smart. They trained her to use the litter box. She would wash her food in a water bowl before eating it. Once in a while my coworker would give her a sugar cube. She would wash wash wash it, trying to get the grainy feeling off her food, until it dissolved, at which point she would give him an "eat shit and die" look and ignore him the rest of the day.

As she got bigger she learned more. She became able to open door knobs. She eventually spent more and more time outside. One day, she opened a door and left.

About a year later, as they were eating dinner, the family heard the front door open. She had come back! They tried to coax her further into the house but she kept running back out to the front porch. When the family finally followed her to the front yard, they saw she had babies with her. She spent about an hour, just going back and forth between the family and her children. He swore it was like a proud parent showing of her children to her folks. Then as it got dark, she took off into the woods with her young uns, and they never saw her again.

0
5

[–] FuttsMcButts 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

I'm wondering what the reasoning of that behavior from the raccoon perspective

0
1

[–] mrmyxlplyx 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

It needs a caption at the end with the raccoon saying something like, "You people are filty, just filty. I don't know how you can live like this."

0
15

[–] lord_nougat 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

Silly wash bear!

0
5

[–] Futt 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

That is indeed the literal translation of the animal's name in all the Scandinavian languages, and German. Probably more. "Vaskebjørn", "Tvättbjörn", "Waschbär". But I guess you knew that ;)

0
2

[–] SirDigbyChikenCaesar 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I thought all animals were called pigs in the German language, learn something new every day.

0
9

[–] dood808 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

That's why we don't have nice things!

1
20

[–] voat-ist 1 points 20 points (+21|-1) ago 

That's why I don't have a pet raccoon. Only city people would think this is a good idea.

0
7

[–] tb20 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Seriously. Raccoons are shit. I know this one seems cute and all, but I've ran across some mean bastards in my lifetime.

0
2

[–] dood808 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

For sure. Nature's Wet Bandits.

0
7

[–] VivaFrei 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I love how it slinks off like it knows it has done something horribly wrong.

And then it gets a shoe.

0
6

[–] wylan 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Revenge is a dish that is best served thoroughly soaked.

1
3

[–] Tsugumori 1 points 3 points (+4|-1) ago  (edited ago)

Alternatively, is best served alongside a slow roasted raccoon.

0
4

[–] Pope_Roman 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

2 questions. why is your pet a racoon, and is this a not-so-sly comrcial lfor an iphone?

0
3

[–] GoodGodKirk [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Not my pet, and I'm sure that's a Samsung S5 (water resistant)

0
5

[–] yenn 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

You mean that one with 16Gb, CPU QuadCore 2,5GhZ, Display Super AMOLED, 1920 x 1080 (FHD)?
Wow, that's the phone i've been waiting for all my life!

0
0

[–] bigger_than_you 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

yes - Racoon. No - Samsung

0
2

[–] ABitStiffyInHere 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

That is one fat raccoon!

0
1

[–] CapnKnuckles 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

I was just about to say how fat and squishy it looked!!!!! I'll bet racoons are little shits to own though. The ones in Michigan we're so interested in what's in our trash...

0
2

[–] Merchaun 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Fuck Michigan raccoons, they're little shits.

0
2

[–] Kushtastesgood 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Funny because he is just siting there videoing. He doesn't even out the phone down to rescue the phone lmao. Commitment

1
7

[–] goofybud16 1 points 7 points (+8|-1) ago 

If it is a Galaxy S5, they are Water resistant and that wouldn't hurt it.

That is why it worked fine when they pulled it out.

0
3

[–] Kushtastesgood 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Looked like a note 3 or 4. But if it was a galaxy then your assumption would be correct

0
1

[–] GoodGodKirk [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

That's what it looked like to me

0
2

[–] o_V_o 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Because it's a fucking ad. Why are you people upvoting this shit?

0
1

[–] omegletrollz 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Gotta have priorities man. What is more important to you, silly material possessions or glorious imaginary Internet points?

load more comments ▼ (14 remaining)