[–] NassTee 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

And five minutes later he comes out with the old TV she was selling on craigslist and you realize the perfect murder you just planned will go to waste.

Or will it?

[–] con77 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

A not so funny true story. Two guys I worked with gave me a ride home after work one night. I was gonna change clothes and go out. We pull up to my house and one of the guys Jeep was parked in my alley. He had loaned it to his girlfriend. She was inside boning my roommate. Whoops!

[–] GoyimNose 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Go on...

[–] con77 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

The really weird thing. The guy getting cheated on was a cook. I was a waiter. The cooks dad would come in and make an ass of himself hitting on me. He was gay. The cook lived with his gay dad. I aint gay. I thought he was just a weird old fucker at first. Then I realized he wasnt joking! asshole. The GF in the story was a hostess. The roommate didn't work. His dad was rich.

[–] con77 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

he took it like a man. They dropped me off and left. I didn't say anything to the cheating whore and left them to figure shit out on their own. The roommate actually married the bitch a couple years later. He was gonna dump her and she got pregnant. She had the kid and left him because he turned into a crack head. His dad was a millionaire jew so money wasn't an issue. the daughter is 19-20 now and in college. (her and her mom were/are knockouts).

[–] NosebergShekelman 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Oh that's just my wife's boyfriend, Jamal.

[–] Guardbuddy 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

A REAL HUMAN BEAN

[–] Renatus 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

...and a real hero.

[–] Landrictree 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Drop the dude in a ditch instead.

Go home and show her the pictures.

[–] JohnGoodman 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Or put her in the ditch too

[–] Chempergrill 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

You get a ditch! She gets a ditch! EVERYONE GETS A DITCH!!

[–] samuraichococat 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Never take trophies ("evidance")

[–] heygeorge 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

@drstrangegov did this earlier in the week. Poor bugger. It’s why he got so drunk last night.

[–] drstrangegov 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

What?.....oh jeeze.....going to need a Mulligan for last night. My aching cabeza.

[–] metism 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

...and then realize you were born a girl so that makes it even more weird