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[–] 12527363? 0 points 47 points (+47|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Hannah also sits at the foot of the bed, sharpening her knives while watching you sleep, wondering who this Mom is in your contacts and why you two talk every week.

Hannah is crazy. Don't stick your dick in Hannah.

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[–] SpecialtyPizza 1 points 10 points (+11|-1) ago 

Seriously, Hannah is psycho as fuck.

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[–] Its_over_9000 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

She sounds like a good lay

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[–] nmgoh2 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Hey now. I was dating someone from Match and it was some of the best sex of my life.

Couldn't figure out why she was dodgy about her past until I looked her up on Google. Turns out her ex husband was cheating on her, she decided to stab the mistress, and was awaiting trial.

She's in prison now, but we stay in touch. Don't want life getting too boring now.

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[–] Fuck_SRS 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Yes stick your dick in Hannah, just run afterwards.

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[–] Schreiber 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Just shoot inside and disappear from her life, Tyrone style.

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[–] Camulos 1 points 36 points (+37|-1) ago 

Hannah also pokes holes in all of your condoms and when she looks you in the eye she never fuckin' blinks for some reason and it's super creepy.

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[–] GoatEmperorTrump 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Only when she deep throats you. That’s why it’s hard to stay away from Hannah.

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[–] Crensch 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

I'm guessing that's shopped, but if real, totally fucking fucked, and that bitch needs to be stuck in a 1930s-style asylum.

Psychotic kids start with bugs, then puppies, then humans. Bitch is a ticking time bomb.

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[–] weezkitty 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

I hope this is shopped

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[–] lord_nougat 1 points 5 points (+6|-1) ago 

I hope YOU are shopped!

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[–] Whitworth 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I hope it was shopped to make her seem less crazy. Like if it originally said “Hannah carved the faces off of hobos and uses them in her scrapbooking. In normal conversations when others mention Facebook, she giggles to herself in a way that makes everyone uncomfortable before blacking out.”

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[–] lexsird 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Psychotic, that gets painted with such a broad brush that it's not really special anymore is it?

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[–] Crensch 1 points 9 points (+10|-1) ago 

That's what happens when you don't send the psychos to the Asylum where they can't breed.

Also what happens when you import them en masse from shitole countries.

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[–] fuckudatswhy 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

I've done some fucked up stuff in my life, but then I regret them and try not to do it again, but holy shit, not sure how I would feel about dating someone who actually does that as entertainment.

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[–] kevdude 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

She shows you her butterfly collection, and the killing jar.

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[–] lord_nougat 1 points 5 points (+6|-1) ago 

What's a tortoise?

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[–] malloryquinn 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

I'd take Hannah to the doctor

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[–] bajewy 1 points 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

Killing jar? Sounds like something Babs bush would have.

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[–] lord_nougat 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Why? Was she into collecting butterflies and other insects?

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[–] Reverse-Flash 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Hannah also likes to stand in the far corner of the basement staring at the wall for hours on end.

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[–] lord_nougat 1 points 5 points (+6|-1) ago 

...chanting... in some unknown language!

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[–] modsrcuntz 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

hannah's parents will also sell her to you if you present the correct number of goats.

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[–] lord_nougat 1 points 3 points (+4|-1) ago 

0.72 goats?

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[–] Javik2186 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

She puts butterflies in the microwave in her spare time.

I throw annoying primitives out the airlock in my spare time. You know, I think she and I are a perfect match.

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[–] lord_nougat 1 points 3 points (+4|-1) ago 

You live in a submarine of something?

Is it a yellow submarine?

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[–] Javik2186 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

I live on a human vessel called the SR-2 Normandy. It’s not yellow, but one of the crew members is on a yellow submarine song binge. I’m ready to throw him out if plays that song one more time today.

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