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[–] NassTee 0 points 57 points (+57|-0) ago 

"If I could read, I could read two books at the same time."

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[–] That_VoiceOver_Guy 0 points 42 points (+42|-0) ago 

Well, it's also why he can see two miles unaided, one mile left, one mile right.

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[–] FireSauce 1 points 13 points (+14|-1) ago 

kek

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[–] I_SCREAM_TRUCK 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Cant say he didnt see that one coming...

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[–] Livelongdiefree 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Thanks for making me laugh my fucking ass off!

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[–] Goathole 0 points 46 points (+46|-0) ago 

What's a Deepwater Jew? What the fuck am I asking you fuckheads for, I've got the internetz.

A scaly, gilled Jew that hides his shekels in the depths of the ocean. His loot room is also his home, where he lays rubbing two coins together to pass time. This sound is a symphony to a Deepwater Jew.

ahhhahahahaaaaaaa!!!! that's some funny shit. Thanks Voat.

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[–] lord_nougat 0 points 16 points (+16|-0) ago 

It's like an ocean ferengi.

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[–] FireSauce 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

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[–] illop 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Haha, noice!

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[–] 11617353 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I only know about mountain jews

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mountain_Jews

But I wouldn't rule out the deepwater jew theory entirely

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Deepwater%20Jew

Deepwater Jew

A scaly, gilled Jew that hides his shekels in the depths of the ocean. His loot room is also his home, where he lays rubbing two coins together to pass time. This sound is a symphony to a Deepwater Jew.

"One time, while scuba diving I thought I saw a Deepwater Jew, but they're just myths, right?" -Scuba Skeptic

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[–] i_scream_trucks 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

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[–] BentAxel 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

He has blue eyes. One blew that way, the other blew this way.

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[–] crazy_eyes [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Just like Christa McCaulif

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[–] BentAxel 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

More like this

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[–] Secus 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Top kek

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[–] Memorexem 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

OP has familial relation, maybe? ;P

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[–] crazy_eyes [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Or not

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[–] MichaelClayton 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

I'd hang with JD at a bbq.

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[–] Norseman 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

JD will make you the BBQ

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[–] MichaelClayton 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Haha

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[–] OneTrueCube 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Some guys barbecue out of the back of a pickup - JD will just barbecue the pickup

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[–] I_SCREAM_TRUCK 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME YOU LITTLE FAGGOT?...

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[–] slwsnowman40 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Dude...we can look at your face and tell you have no soul.

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