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[–] Drkadrka 1 points 244 points (+245|-1) ago  (edited ago)

Ah, this seems to be a specimen of the Blue-Crested Faggot. They are related to both the purple- and red-crested varieties of the faggot family, but are a much rarer find.

Rarely seen in society, they are nearly extinct outside of the college campus, as they lack the means to provide for themselves, let alone reproduce to any measure of success. An interesting fact about blue-crested faggots, the males of the species are nearly indistinguishable from the females due to their similar plumage, body shapes, gestural iterations and vocal utterances. This has led to more documented homosexual encounters in the wild than even dolphins, as noone, not even other faggots, can be sure of gender from sight and sound alone.

You can tell that this one has been a captive specimen for quite some time, as there are multiple anchor points, at the nose, ears, and mouth. These are used when caged to prevent them from squawking by running a braided cable through to bind them shut, saving the owner the misery of its annoying and uninspired song.

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[–] Pop-up-king 0 points 34 points (+34|-0) ago 

I actually logged in just to upvote this.

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[–] Drkadrka 0 points 40 points (+40|-0) ago 

Thank you for your upvoat. I plan on saving up for the light-up yoyo. Once I hit 4000 CCP, that yoyo is mine.

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[–] DasReich 1 points 15 points (+16|-1) ago 

BRA-FUCKING-O

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[–] lord_nougat 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

Kind of like a bravo, only without the v.

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[–] DasReich 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

I believe I've heard their mating call before. It sounds like "REEEEEEEEEEEE". Can you confirm?

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[–] Drkadrka 0 points 28 points (+28|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Actually that is they sound they make when confused or disoriented. That might be why you hear it fairly regularly.

It is believed that this is a major factor in them having evolved to be a non-migratory species, because their constant state of disorientation due to lack of survival skills and subsequent REEE-ing led to their hunting to near extinction in the American West and Midwest.

Outside of their natural habitats along the West Coast of the United States, there are very isolated pockets in the Albuquerque and Tucson areas, but the largest concentration with the most genetic diversity can be found in and around Travis County, Texas; specifically in Austin, TX.

If you find yourself around a disoriented or otherwise agitated Blue Crested Faggot, it is best to back away while shaking your head disapprovingly and clicking your tongue in a tsk-tsk-tsk manner as if to imitate a parental figure showing disapproval or disappointment.

Under no circumstances should you turn your back to a Blue Crested, or any of the Crested Faggot species, as they are known for attacking alone or in swarms, often striking and retreating with surprising swiftness relative to their size and shape. Attacks are often without warning or provocation, and most often occur when Faggots are confused or otherwise intimidated, often by the most basic of facts.

If attacked, it is advisable to seek immediate medical attention, as all species of Faggots are know to carry a wide array of transmissible disease.

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[–] uvulectomy 1 points 6 points (+7|-1) ago 

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[–] Drkadrka 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Did you just give me a Shia LeDouche slow clap?

High five!