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[–] NedTaggart 0 points 57 points (+57|-0) ago  (edited ago)

This reminds me of years ago on the Sean Hannity radio show. One of his sponsors was a company Lobsterguy.com or something similar. His producer, I can't remember her name, Flounder or Flipper or something, was a 20-something PETA type. As part of the Christmas deal, he sent all of his staff lobsters through the company.

She got back after the break and on the air started going on about how that was a terrible thing to do, but she could sleep ok at night knowing she set the lobsters free. Sean was like "Wait, what? you set them free?" she said, "Yeah, as soon as I opened them, I knew what I had to do, I drove them to the park and set them free in the pond." Sean busted out laughing and absolutely lost his shit. He then had to go through the process of explaining that Lobsters were salt water creatures and she probably just submitted them to a slow and agonizingly painful demise. The icing on the cake was when said that she left the rubber bands on so they couldn't hurt any other animals.

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[–] Cant_Call_It 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

Fucking what... If you can find a clip to this episode I will find a coupon for a product of your choice and send it to you.

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[–] NedTaggart 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Man, I looked, I can only find references too it on random message boards (2nd comment) and moonbattery (in the comments). I cannot locate the clip to save my live. I wish I could, I was howling with laughter.

Ted Nugent used to have all sorts of fun with her. She was a comedic treasure trove.

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[–] cyks 5 points 4 points (+9|-5) ago 

Hi. I'm a producer from AmazingAnimalVideos. I would love to feature your comment in our next "Can't You Not Believe it Yet?" webisode. I will send you a check for $10 to cover any royalties and roll your username through the credit sequence. Please get back to me at: Webisode@compuserve.net

Thanks!

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[–] Fambida 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I'd chip in a dollar for that. Sounds fucking hilarious.

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[–] Secus 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

Never expected any intelligence to come from PETA.

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[–] Mr_Wolf 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

i remember hearing that clip

pretty sure this is the site

http://www.lobsterssundaybrunch.com/category/the-vault/

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[–] NedTaggart 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

That may be it, All i remember is that it was a lobstergram and it was probably 10 years ago.

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[–] crazyjuan 0 points 18 points (+18|-0) ago 

I feel so guilty for laughing...it probably drowned, poor guy :(

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[–] Chance 0 points 25 points (+25|-0) ago 

Actually, not sure if this is true but when this picture was originally posted on Reddit the OP said that this was an instant message and they read it fast enough to get him back out of the water.

I choose to believe that. I like reptiles.

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[–] LiberalPenguin 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

IT's gonna have serious trust issues, though

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[–] discoball 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

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[–] primaryappellation 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

But girls do this shit all the time (Florida even does PSAs about it

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[–] Alopix [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

For the record, I got this image from 4chan, I'm not a dirty reddit reposter

[–] [deleted] 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Lemongarb 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

That was Mitch McConnell, right?

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[–] Zaqwert 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Most tortoises can swim though. They just swim on the surface slowly and briefly, unlike turtles who spend almost all their time in the water and are super fast and good at it.

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[–] Mediocrity 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I can't tell the difference.

I'm a disgrace.

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[–] kronos6948 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Look at the feet. If it has toes, it walks. If it has flippers, it swims.

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[–] pitenius 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

I see hundreds of these guys in the river across from my house.

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[–] lexsird 10 points 2 points (+12|-10) ago 

That's a snapping turtle and yes they fucking swim. I've had enough of them ninja up and eat my fish I had on a stringer in the water when I've been out fishing. You don't want to swim where they are in water naked because they might bite your cock off. They have one of the most nasty bites and their mouth is so full of filth you'll be seriously fucked if you just get bit anywhere. Obviously if it bites your wee cock, you're in for a really bad time. If it doesn't just rip your cock off it will about destroy it and make it infected. Explain that in the emergency room as they treat you.

Take a stick and poke around in front of it and watch how fast they are and how they will just bite through a stick. That's your fingers if you are a dumb ass. Or again, your cock if you have it out in the water and mix it up with one by accident. Or it just decides your cock is a tasty treat. lol

They get huge when they get old and they are as evil tempered at can be. That's a little one in the picture. I've seen them the size of a small wash tub. There was an old fireclay pit on the edge of town where I lived and it went so deep that it was legendary, it had fucking evil currents in it if you got down in the water because some say that the deeper pits flooded out from down in the earth so if you swim too deep, you might get sucked into some underground cavern system that's vast. Real scary stuff.

I'd go fishing there or hang out and smoke a joint and have a fire. Very few people ever came around it because it had murderously steep and long sides all around it that was loose shale. It was like a big trap if you got too close, you'd slide into it or just fall off with some loose earth and roll into it. I grabbed a kid who about fell in it once, he was leaning over to have a better look and about went over head first. He about shit because he about dropped into it from way up top of high part of the cliff.

Anyway, I knew the trails around it and could get to the backside of it that had a normal beach to it. That's where I'd fish, not the cliffs. The thing was full of those big snapping turtles and water moccasins. I'd keep a fire going to that I could stick a burning stick in the water moccasins faces and keep them at bay. They are an evil bastard snake that likes to start shit. Poisonous too. They don't get much company so they tend to come see who's the dumbass fishing. I'd catch fish and put them on a stringer only to have to fight with the snakes and the turtles so they wouldn't be taking bites out of them.

No, I didn't swim in that place. Ever. I thought about it, there was the top of a tall crane that they used to haul the firebrick clay up from the debts. That crane's top stuck up out of the water by a couple of feet. I wanted to swim out to it, but never had anyone want to go with me. It's best to swim in pairs when you're doing dumb shit.

On to eating those turtles if you decide to give it a go.

Now what you do is 16 penny nail it's head to a tree and use a hatchet to get in his shell. Take a mallet or baton stick and bang on the back flat side of your hatchet so that you've got total control. Kind of like most hatchet work. Take the meat out and tenderize it and use it for soup or bread it and fry it up in bacon grease in a cast iron skillet. Don't get squeamish because it's going to move even after it's dead when you go to cutting on it. 8D

I knew a gal once if you brought her over one she'd fix it right up for you. Had a recipe for it that she was damn proud of. She tended bar over at the seedy biker bar.

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[–] Pawn 1 points 1 points (+2|-1) ago 

this was a good story, enjoyed reading this.

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[–] wgtt911 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Typical Liberals saving the world.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Zaqwert 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Many of them can, just not as well as turtles of course.

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